When interviewing, a question that comes up quite often and I'm sure is lied about quite regularly is this ~ "Tell me about a failure in your life." Nice! I'm here to impress you with my qualities and you want to know how much of a loser I am. Well, here goes another job offer down the tubes.
One of my many failures came out in a review I once had. This boss of mine told me that my biggest problem is that I hold on to people too long. "When people don't produce for you, cut them off sooner" he said. I'm not sure if I have this problem because I want my people to succeed or if I don't want to fail.
Over the years, being in contact with many different kinds of employees, I see characteristics that irk me. Some because they remind me of quirks I can't get rid of in myself and some because it causes me trials....more work, more discipline, more confrontation. When I look at the situation as their fault, the irritation worsens and not only is the problem not solved, I become a problem as well. Comradary becomes worse, my attitude begins to affect other things I do...how I handle situations and relationships. And certainly this fault thing doesn't help my progress with said party.
Compassion becomes another option. Wanting to see someone succeed gives an outward goal......something else to focus on rather than worry about poor, poor me. Many times people are waiting for an arm around the shoulder or a kick in the butt to give them the motivation they need to move on to the next level. The ability to watch someone grow and develop is exciting. Unfortunately, growing and developing isn't always the outcome. Yet, in the battle, many positives about this person surface because my heart wasn't blinded by my self-centeredness. The time may come, however, for some people to move on and have this mentoring process continue elsewhere.
Often I look at these situations and wonder if the placement of these people in my life were there for their betterment or for growth in my life.
How long do I hold on? Always a good question to ponder.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Deception
Jerusalem, a few hills in valleys surrounded by mountains....The Valley of Vision. A surge from the enemy was imminent. The people don't care, they want to party. The powers to be try to refortify the city, however, they forgot one thing....God.
Isaiah 22:11
"...but you did not look to the One
who made it, or have regard for the
One who planned it long ago."
vs. 12
"The Lord, The Lord Almighty called you on
that day to weep and wail, to tear
out your hair and put on sackcloth"
There was nothing but joy and revelry.
In these days, do I try to console, comfort and make peace with all kinds of Evil in an effort to have fun and frivolity and convince myself all is going right? Do I profess a certain sort of sexuality and whittle away at God's creation and call something that is impossible, possible so I can afford manipulation of my fancies or fantasy's? Do I eliminate life and pronounce things as nothing to assure my revelry is not interrupted? Do I oppose just cause so I don't tweak my tender self-esteem? All this in a false effort to protect this "Valley of Vision" from certain disaster?
God does not want my fake solutions nor my clever calculations. He wants me to weep and wail for mercy, put on sackcloth of humility, tear out my hair of self righteousness and walk His path....live His life.
Sin is ramping up and do I really care? It seems that the higher the ladder of sin goes the more rungs I can climb without being noticed. It gives me a chance to revel without a pointed finger. I must be careful then, not to be sucked into this vacuum of sin.
I am no different than Jerusalem of old, but I had better listen and learn or:
Isaiah 22:14
"...till your dying day this sin will not be atoned for."
Is everything really fine? Do I just rely on my perceived immensity or do I choose to follow Christ?
Whether I like it or not, I am in the Valley of Vision. I will be watched. I may be persecuted. No matter the price, I must caution myself against this evil that surrounds me. Beware, God won't stand for deceivers...or the deceived.
Isaiah 22:11
"...but you did not look to the One
who made it, or have regard for the
One who planned it long ago."
vs. 12
"The Lord, The Lord Almighty called you on
that day to weep and wail, to tear
out your hair and put on sackcloth"
There was nothing but joy and revelry.
In these days, do I try to console, comfort and make peace with all kinds of Evil in an effort to have fun and frivolity and convince myself all is going right? Do I profess a certain sort of sexuality and whittle away at God's creation and call something that is impossible, possible so I can afford manipulation of my fancies or fantasy's? Do I eliminate life and pronounce things as nothing to assure my revelry is not interrupted? Do I oppose just cause so I don't tweak my tender self-esteem? All this in a false effort to protect this "Valley of Vision" from certain disaster?
God does not want my fake solutions nor my clever calculations. He wants me to weep and wail for mercy, put on sackcloth of humility, tear out my hair of self righteousness and walk His path....live His life.
Sin is ramping up and do I really care? It seems that the higher the ladder of sin goes the more rungs I can climb without being noticed. It gives me a chance to revel without a pointed finger. I must be careful then, not to be sucked into this vacuum of sin.
I am no different than Jerusalem of old, but I had better listen and learn or:
Isaiah 22:14
"...till your dying day this sin will not be atoned for."
Is everything really fine? Do I just rely on my perceived immensity or do I choose to follow Christ?
Whether I like it or not, I am in the Valley of Vision. I will be watched. I may be persecuted. No matter the price, I must caution myself against this evil that surrounds me. Beware, God won't stand for deceivers...or the deceived.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Bait
When I was in college I took a literature course and found myself debating, all too often with my teacher, about the thoughts of writers. We would all sit around in class and discuss what was going through the minds of these authors. My teacher always seemed to know where these thoughts came from and where they were going.
"Why use a raven to say nevermore?"
"What's the real deal with this throbbing heart?"
"Was Mr. Poe giving us a clue or skirting the real issue?"
"Was he scared, angry, depressed....?"
"Did he want us to listen closer or steer us away?"
I had so many questions. Often we have no clue what people are saying and relate our own experiences to develop some relevance.
I did a little experiment and took some of my writings to my dorm mates and asked them what I may have been thinking when I wrote what I wrote.
Since you are reading my blogs this may not come as a surprise but everyone, including my teacher, received a different slant to the thoughts behind my pen. Instead of delving into the whereabouts of a thought, it seems much easier for me to make a comfortable conclusion about the idea.
Isaac Watts wrote a song, At the Cross, in which he classified himself as a worm;
Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
for such a worm as I?
This rendition was cast off and worm was substituted for "...sinners such as I?" Wouldn't Mr. Watts put sinners if he wanted sinners? Why change it? Maybe worm has some bad connotations....? Precisely! Why would Jesus die for me, a slimy, disgusting worm? I don't know, maybe "worm" is a cuss word in Greek or something. If it is, I apologize but try to come back to the English language with me and see if we can shake this out a bit. What might Isaac Watts have been thinking when he called himself a worm?
"....such a worm as I." What a line. It isn't a real pretty picture, but it is so indicative of who we are. We aren't too pleasing and often get ourselves in trouble when we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The problem with worms, when they get caught, is two fold. Not only are they skewered on a fishing hook and forced to die a slow death, they are also used as bait to lure something else to its demise.
This is not too unlike us now is it? Stay with me here, these examples are used as parallels not comparisons. We, as the worms, are surrounded by our safe haven of dirt or God's protection. We are lured out into the world by the falling rains of temptation. We are then snatched by the fishermen of deceit (sorry anglers) to not only be abused but used in the reeling in of captors to build the army of Satan.
I let my guard down and it doesn't take much, just a sprinkle, and I come out to test temptation, and I'm caught. Have you ever pulled a worm out of the ground and it rips in half? Satan is no different. He doesn't care if he only gets a little piece of me, just enough to use as bait to ruin my reputation and lure someone else into his clutches.
Does the rain of mockery, gossip or self righteousness drag me out of God's safe haven of respect, commitment and servitude? Do I allow the fisherman of deceit to not only skewer my character but use me to drag others away from Jesus?
I must be careful then. My character is one step, one look, one thought from the inviting rains of deception. Let us stay vigilant for the work of Christ.
~A thought from January 2012~
Sometimes I feel too carefree in this freedom Christ sacrificed for. His honor should not be trivialized because I twist His word to find permission to do what I know in my heart to be less than what He desires.
"Why use a raven to say nevermore?"
"What's the real deal with this throbbing heart?"
"Was Mr. Poe giving us a clue or skirting the real issue?"
"Was he scared, angry, depressed....?"
"Did he want us to listen closer or steer us away?"
I had so many questions. Often we have no clue what people are saying and relate our own experiences to develop some relevance.
I did a little experiment and took some of my writings to my dorm mates and asked them what I may have been thinking when I wrote what I wrote.
Since you are reading my blogs this may not come as a surprise but everyone, including my teacher, received a different slant to the thoughts behind my pen. Instead of delving into the whereabouts of a thought, it seems much easier for me to make a comfortable conclusion about the idea.
Isaac Watts wrote a song, At the Cross, in which he classified himself as a worm;
Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
for such a worm as I?
This rendition was cast off and worm was substituted for "...sinners such as I?" Wouldn't Mr. Watts put sinners if he wanted sinners? Why change it? Maybe worm has some bad connotations....? Precisely! Why would Jesus die for me, a slimy, disgusting worm? I don't know, maybe "worm" is a cuss word in Greek or something. If it is, I apologize but try to come back to the English language with me and see if we can shake this out a bit. What might Isaac Watts have been thinking when he called himself a worm?
"....such a worm as I." What a line. It isn't a real pretty picture, but it is so indicative of who we are. We aren't too pleasing and often get ourselves in trouble when we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The problem with worms, when they get caught, is two fold. Not only are they skewered on a fishing hook and forced to die a slow death, they are also used as bait to lure something else to its demise.
This is not too unlike us now is it? Stay with me here, these examples are used as parallels not comparisons. We, as the worms, are surrounded by our safe haven of dirt or God's protection. We are lured out into the world by the falling rains of temptation. We are then snatched by the fishermen of deceit (sorry anglers) to not only be abused but used in the reeling in of captors to build the army of Satan.
I let my guard down and it doesn't take much, just a sprinkle, and I come out to test temptation, and I'm caught. Have you ever pulled a worm out of the ground and it rips in half? Satan is no different. He doesn't care if he only gets a little piece of me, just enough to use as bait to ruin my reputation and lure someone else into his clutches.
Does the rain of mockery, gossip or self righteousness drag me out of God's safe haven of respect, commitment and servitude? Do I allow the fisherman of deceit to not only skewer my character but use me to drag others away from Jesus?
I must be careful then. My character is one step, one look, one thought from the inviting rains of deception. Let us stay vigilant for the work of Christ.
~A thought from January 2012~
Sometimes I feel too carefree in this freedom Christ sacrificed for. His honor should not be trivialized because I twist His word to find permission to do what I know in my heart to be less than what He desires.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Invitation
Not long ago I was invited to a meeting. Important decisions were being made, advice was being asked for, input and influence were taking place. Ideas of great significance, which could greatly impact our lives were being discussed. Included in this meeting were lawyers, corporate people, builders, teachers, entrepreneurs and spiritual prayer warriors. Sound advice and great encouragement flew around the room like snow in a Minnesota blizzard. Other then some awkward participatory remarks, I had nothing to infuse into these conversations. Actually, I really didn't have much business being part of this gathering. Amazingly, all things considered, I was part of this, I was invited.
Not much unlike this meeting, though on a much grander scale, I was invited to join a family I also had no business being part of. My guilt and recklessness had left the Savior of the world abandoned on a cross being punished for my participatory sinfulness. Not only was He punished, He died. However, this Jesus came back to life to stomp on this limitation we call death and included me in a never ending life...if I should accept His invitation.
Do I deserve to be included and called a friend or even listened to by a group of such influential people? No. Do I deserve to fall on my face and even think of this thing called redemption? Absolutely not! But I was generously invited and I accepted. This acceptance included me in spite of myself.
Easter reminds us of this gift and of who so graciously gave it. However, you can't have the pleasure of this gift if you don't ask for forgiveness and accept the invitation. I was invited....I accepted....I am part of His family. This Savior of the world has invited you as well. Don't set Him aside. Come to the empty tomb and accept His incredible invitation.
Happy Easter!
Not much unlike this meeting, though on a much grander scale, I was invited to join a family I also had no business being part of. My guilt and recklessness had left the Savior of the world abandoned on a cross being punished for my participatory sinfulness. Not only was He punished, He died. However, this Jesus came back to life to stomp on this limitation we call death and included me in a never ending life...if I should accept His invitation.
Do I deserve to be included and called a friend or even listened to by a group of such influential people? No. Do I deserve to fall on my face and even think of this thing called redemption? Absolutely not! But I was generously invited and I accepted. This acceptance included me in spite of myself.
Easter reminds us of this gift and of who so graciously gave it. However, you can't have the pleasure of this gift if you don't ask for forgiveness and accept the invitation. I was invited....I accepted....I am part of His family. This Savior of the world has invited you as well. Don't set Him aside. Come to the empty tomb and accept His incredible invitation.
Happy Easter!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Alone
As I sit in stern laziness, the resiliency of wonderment drags me into thoughts musing the scepticism of man. The warm, home-made cardamom bread, laced with cinnamon sugar, is eased down with an ever so bold cup of coffee. Alone...guilt delivers a chill through this blanket of freedom. On these few days with no one to please, discipline or charm I joust away the feeling with the clicking of my pen.
"Yah, away you dastardly duties I forbid you to dispense of my freedom!" I scream.
"There are walls to paint and faucets to fix, my love." taunts Guilt Factor.
"No, I need time to think and focus." My mind blurs as I try to plan my escape of this...Mr. Factor.
"People will think naughty little thoughts of you when they notice you're not up to snuff with the Jone's!" He says in that irritating, put down tone.
I have never had an upside to worry about but my downside may be becoming a bit too noticeable, I ponder.
"Stop it! I won't fall for your snively little tricks." Again I find myself screaming.
"Oh, you lounge around now but soon responsibility will return and find how irresponsible you have been."
....One last jab scars my freedom.
God, build a wall about me. Deliver a blow to the master of soliloquy as I form unnecessary thoughts that I relegate important. You alone are my solace. Don't let me stumble over myself, lead me back to you.
Create in me a pure heart,
O God,
and renew a steadfast
spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your
presence
or take your Holy Spirit
from me.
Restore to me the joy of
Your salvation
and grant me a willing
spirit to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
"Yah, away you dastardly duties I forbid you to dispense of my freedom!" I scream.
"There are walls to paint and faucets to fix, my love." taunts Guilt Factor.
"No, I need time to think and focus." My mind blurs as I try to plan my escape of this...Mr. Factor.
"People will think naughty little thoughts of you when they notice you're not up to snuff with the Jone's!" He says in that irritating, put down tone.
I have never had an upside to worry about but my downside may be becoming a bit too noticeable, I ponder.
"Stop it! I won't fall for your snively little tricks." Again I find myself screaming.
"Oh, you lounge around now but soon responsibility will return and find how irresponsible you have been."
....One last jab scars my freedom.
God, build a wall about me. Deliver a blow to the master of soliloquy as I form unnecessary thoughts that I relegate important. You alone are my solace. Don't let me stumble over myself, lead me back to you.
Create in me a pure heart,
O God,
and renew a steadfast
spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your
presence
or take your Holy Spirit
from me.
Restore to me the joy of
Your salvation
and grant me a willing
spirit to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
Monday, March 11, 2013
Consecration
Why do my thoughts of being holy often get in the way of being holy?
Several weeks ago, I found myself at a large gathering of people. There was a couple there that is very dear to our family. The wife hasn't been feeling well, as of late, which had lead me to prayer and concern. Realize now that my hearing seems to be getting worse, part old, part cold, so I couldn't hear very well in this noisy hallway. When I saw her we did the customary hug but I held on to her a bit and asked her some questions about how she was feeling. We chatted a few moments and then I moved on to other people. Some days later I looked back on this situation and hoped I had seemed like a concerned old friend instead of a creepy old man. Sometimes situations take on different meanings than were implied.
How often do we misinterpret the closeness of God?
Francis Redley Havergal wrote a book, "Kept for the Masters Use", in the late 1800's. Talking about consecration, she said this: "The heart that is not entrusted to Him for searching, will not be undertaken by Him for cleansing; the life that fears to come to the light lest any deed should be reproved, can never know His blessedness and the privileges of walking in the light."
I think she is saying that God is not a "pick and chooser", He's a "life changer". Is our consecration experience "nit picky"? Are there certain things we don't want God to change? Consecration is a Holy change of all, not a Holy choice of what. Do we misinterpret this life changing consecration event?
"God change this horrible weakness into a strength so I can be more effective for you."
"God don't touch this strength of mine, I will use it mightily."
Maybe God needs my weakness to change the world. Maybe my strength will get in the way of God's workings. Is God whispering in my ear and His closeness is a little too close for comfort? But I must stay close.
Frances Havergal goes on to explain the paradox of consecration: " Full consecration may be in one sense the act of the moment, and in another the work of a lifetime. It must be complete to be real, and yet, if real it is always incomplete; a part of rest, and yet a perpetual progression."
Don't let God's closeness misinterpret His concern. God's closeness may seem creepy at times but usually it's the only way we can hear His Holiness.
Take my heart, and let it be
Consecrated Lord, to Thee
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, All for Thee.
Frances R. Havergal (1874)
Several weeks ago, I found myself at a large gathering of people. There was a couple there that is very dear to our family. The wife hasn't been feeling well, as of late, which had lead me to prayer and concern. Realize now that my hearing seems to be getting worse, part old, part cold, so I couldn't hear very well in this noisy hallway. When I saw her we did the customary hug but I held on to her a bit and asked her some questions about how she was feeling. We chatted a few moments and then I moved on to other people. Some days later I looked back on this situation and hoped I had seemed like a concerned old friend instead of a creepy old man. Sometimes situations take on different meanings than were implied.
How often do we misinterpret the closeness of God?
Francis Redley Havergal wrote a book, "Kept for the Masters Use", in the late 1800's. Talking about consecration, she said this: "The heart that is not entrusted to Him for searching, will not be undertaken by Him for cleansing; the life that fears to come to the light lest any deed should be reproved, can never know His blessedness and the privileges of walking in the light."
I think she is saying that God is not a "pick and chooser", He's a "life changer". Is our consecration experience "nit picky"? Are there certain things we don't want God to change? Consecration is a Holy change of all, not a Holy choice of what. Do we misinterpret this life changing consecration event?
"God change this horrible weakness into a strength so I can be more effective for you."
"God don't touch this strength of mine, I will use it mightily."
Maybe God needs my weakness to change the world. Maybe my strength will get in the way of God's workings. Is God whispering in my ear and His closeness is a little too close for comfort? But I must stay close.
Frances Havergal goes on to explain the paradox of consecration: " Full consecration may be in one sense the act of the moment, and in another the work of a lifetime. It must be complete to be real, and yet, if real it is always incomplete; a part of rest, and yet a perpetual progression."
Don't let God's closeness misinterpret His concern. God's closeness may seem creepy at times but usually it's the only way we can hear His Holiness.
Take my heart, and let it be
Consecrated Lord, to Thee
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, All for Thee.
Frances R. Havergal (1874)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Day
Minds are incredible things. No two are the same, how they calculate, how they create, how they convolute. A great example of this is the difference between my wife and myself.
The mind of my wife is a steel trap logging times, dates and all kinds of information. This is an incredible blessing giving me a wealth of information to draw on. However, you understand, the great curse because of my shortcomings. Though they fade quickly in my minds eye they are all stored succinctly in this wonderful filing system. My mind, on the other hand, is a steel sieve. Information circles in the windy vortex till it escapes....somewhere. Dates, details and specifics don't register well with me. I'm an idea man.
You may shake your head and say, "poor soul", but I tell you, "worry not." This isn't as big of a dilemma to me as it is to those who deal with me on a consistent basis. What am I talking about you may think. A more specific example may help.
The steel trap; Feb. 14, 2013....Valentine's Day....chocolates...flowers...arrows....hearts.
The steel sieve; Karen what would I do without you...whenever. You are the woman I love...so much. You have stuck with me since....for so long. Can any day be more special than any other?
I love you always.
Happy.....Day
The mind of my wife is a steel trap logging times, dates and all kinds of information. This is an incredible blessing giving me a wealth of information to draw on. However, you understand, the great curse because of my shortcomings. Though they fade quickly in my minds eye they are all stored succinctly in this wonderful filing system. My mind, on the other hand, is a steel sieve. Information circles in the windy vortex till it escapes....somewhere. Dates, details and specifics don't register well with me. I'm an idea man.
You may shake your head and say, "poor soul", but I tell you, "worry not." This isn't as big of a dilemma to me as it is to those who deal with me on a consistent basis. What am I talking about you may think. A more specific example may help.
The steel trap; Feb. 14, 2013....Valentine's Day....chocolates...flowers...arrows....hearts.
The steel sieve; Karen what would I do without you...whenever. You are the woman I love...so much. You have stuck with me since....for so long. Can any day be more special than any other?
I love you always.
Happy.....Day
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