Gift

In a previous blog I believe I told you about some early college experiences I had in the Colorado Rockies.  I was privileged to take part, with many wonderful people, in a life changing time.  Many men and women of God filled my life with all types of backgrounds and ideas.  I was young and developing a sense of who God was and how I fit in this thing called life.  I was blessed with four professors who loved their God deeply but one man had an insight that seemed to click with me.   He was very kind and had a non-judgmental concern with a deep desire that we would pull as much out of our Creator as possible.  He was a no-nonsense biologist and taught with a sense of practicality I haven't really seen since.  Maybe this appreciation was enhanced by the mercy he showed by not flunking a terrified freshman out of his biology class. 

Years later at a reunion I was awarded a complement from this man of which I will never forget.  I went to a Bible and engineering school and received a degree in recreation and camp administration....go figure.  At the reunion most of us guys were helping this professor unload a bunch of wood into the lodge.  He had backed his new truck up a small hill to shorten the carrying distance.  When the wood was unloaded and the truck swept out the tailgate wouldn't close.  The engineers were calculating the derivatives, angles, pressure points complete with leverage analysis.  The spiritual leaders were calculating the amount of sin we had committed in our determination to close the tailgate.  I was lost amongst the math and the stress.  I said, "the truck looks catawampus maybe if we drive the truck onto level ground, the gate will close."  What do you know!  The tailgate closed with ease.  I had nothing to offer but a drive down the hill.  My professor said six words that encouraged me greatly, "I like the way you think" , then he went about his business....serving us. 

He taught the intricacies of life to show us the awesomeness of our Creator.  He knew it wasn't about him and his brilliance, it was about God and his majesty.  "If you can't piece together ameba's, protozoa's and cell division, don't worry about it.  Just be amazed that God has it all in control and you will be fine."  Wow, I still had a chance!

A few horses had taken Dr. Compton to task and I still see him hobbling down to the water pump.  I miss his wily wisdom.  I wish I could sit down again and talk about the greatly complicated and wonderfully simple aspects of our incredible God.  Dr. Compton was brilliant, compassionate, humble and loved his God dearly.  I was able to study under this man.  What an incredible gift I was given!

Answered

Do I feel prayer is answered based on how life intersects with me?  If I pray for a car and a car is received do I automatically think that's the answer?  A month later the car breaks down.  If the answer was the car, why would God allow it to break down?  Is the car only a part of the answer?  Maybe the car was to build trust for the next life occurrence, the breakdown. God brought me through the receiving of the car, why would he not carry me through the breakdown?  Maybe the answer was not the car, maybe the answer was faith building.  Its much easier to pray for a desire than for faith building.  My character is too fragile to anticipate faith building, which is most always difficult, than to look forward to something which makes my life easier, a car.

 Am I willing to change my prayer habits to include Christ's desires instead of my longings? Am I willing to do anything for the sake of God's glory? This doesn't mean I ought not pray for a car, but am I willing to walk if God so wills it?  My pious self says, "Of course", but will I chortle in disgust if my way is not granted?  Should I not be willing to do anything or give up everything for the cause of Christ? 

If I could only meet God for coffee each time I had a need or question it would be so much easier.  He could look at me and say,

                           "You want what?  That's a little selfish don't you think?"
                    Or
                           "If you did it this way, things would work out much better."

But God decided we should live by faith.  He wants us to realize that life will deal us crap but he will take the crap we are dealt and fertilize our life into something pleasing and good if we stick by Him.

Yet, my piece of pie falls in my lap, my boss irks me, my car breaks down and I get annoyed.  Why the dilemma, the mockery, the scandal in my soul when, in reality, the pie,the job and the car are all blessings of which I should be thankful. 

Is the implication of rebellion the course of a heart gone cold?  Is this heart salvageable?  Is it yet pliable enough to be kind and not spiteful, generous and not selfish...at rest in the arms of Jesus?

                              My God will supply all my needs.....do I believe it?

                              My God will always be there....do I feel it?

                              My God will not forsake me....do I know it? 

Prayer predicates itself on a God who will answer or it is not prayer at all, it is a gambling percentage based on bad probability.  God is there, he will answer. Though, I must expect only His answer, not my answer.