Why do I not get it? I should know where to find my God. I always have to come up with some other place to search. Maybe God's waiting for me in the closet. I'll give Him some time to go through my garb of goodness. Things will go well if I do what I should...be kind, caring and courageous. I'll look out for others and help the less fortunate. I'll be a grand husband and wonderful father. No God...well that's too bad. Maybe He's waiting in the kitchen. That's OK, He'll be able to see I'm keeping a good diet. He won't find any junk food of bad TV or movies. Of course, there are plenty of protein laden prayer meetings and church services. Oh yeah, He'll like the salads of sobriety and servant hood...He wasn't there either. God never has cared for my thoughtful uselessness. He didn't want me standing around thinking I deserved His watchful eye. That room...the one I threw all the junk in when company came over...He had found the key and snuck in. I guess I should go in too....Oh my! I didn't realize it was so full. He was there all the time. God was waiting for me in my dilapidated room of brokenness. God could only piece me back together if I was broken.
"Cinderella Man", one of my favorite movies of family, will and patriotism, had a part in it I will never forget. Jim Braddock had lost most everything, his health, his fame and his money. The struggles were overbearing. They hardly had any food left but they sat down to eat anyway. Jim's wife, Mae, waited for him to pray...he looked at her with that hopeless face and said, "You pray. I'm all prayed out." He didn't know what to do...he was spent. What do you do when you're all prayed out and spent?
Pray!
It was gone. What was I going to do? I could stand to miss a few meals but Brandon needed his precious formula. Again, I cried out to God. I stopped at the gas station and shamefully asked the owner of the station, a friend from church, if I could have five dollars of gas and I would pay him on payday. He was very gracious and said it would be fine. He pumped the gas and started into the garage. As I was leaving he yelled for me to stop and ran out to the car. "Don't tell her, but my wife gave me this shower gift to give to you a month back and I forgot about it till now" he said. Ten dollars...formula was $9.99...an answer and change.
Did my friend forget or was God preparing an answer for my brokenness? Be careful wives, is your husband forgetting or is he being used to answer a prayer?
Prayer isn't only about me. I also pray for others and those answers also build my faith. I don't always know what to pray for but God wants me to pray always...without ceasing. Sure, we pray for others as they request prayer but what if I know nothing about the concern. Does the precipitation of prayer trickle down into my life when I open my heart for God to put in the concern of others?
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Prayer (the journey, part 1)
...pleading before my God to help with my inadequacies...to provide for my needs...to fulfill my desires...to bring before my God the concerns of my friends, my country, my enemies and even those I do not know...to strengthen a faltering faith...that the needy will be blessed...the blessed will be thankful... the thankful will be concerned...that we all will understand that God is who He says He is...
How is your faith?
How is your prayer?
As most newly married couples we were of meager means. But, as I recall, we enjoyed our drafty little home close to the Gunflint Trail in northern Minnesota. We loved Grand Marais! I enjoyed my job. We belonged to a nice little church and Karen was pregnant with our first child.
Our son, Brandon, was born with the "CHARGE" syndrome. This syndrome affected areas associated with the mid-line of the body. Though you would never know it now, growth was inhibited quite a bit in his earlier years. Even normal things, like lifting his head, had to be taught. I guess we didn't know this was terribly unusual since we hadn't had children before. However, I do remember thinking to myself that this was a lot of work. Why did people keep having children?
My wife was a trooper. She could do it all. I could clean up projectile distress from both ends but mealtime was out of my league. No, its not what you think, although, that would have been difficult as well. Brandon had to be fed with a gavage tube. Karen would slide a tube down Brandon's throat, into his stomach and pour life giving formula into his system. I just couldn't do it. To this very day, I can hardly hold back the tears, remembering the painful look in Brandon's eyes as Karen maneuvered the feeding tube down his little throat...than the satisfying contentment as the food dissolved his hunger.
I had accepted Jesus as my Savior and loved Him dearly for over ten years at that point in my life. What was happening? I felt He had left me alone. I laid on my son's bedroom floor crying for my God to come back. I was about to start a long journey of knowing God's presence through answered prayer.
Faith enables us to believe in God. Answered prayer brings validity to that faith. Sometimes I feel that we, in our blessed lives, have faith but our validation process is weak because we are able to answer most of our own prayers. I need a car...someone will give me a loan. I need clothes or food...charge it. Desperation is minimal. Brokenness allows God to shore up our faith.
Karen was exhausted. Brandon took a lot of care and she had no escape. No one would or could watch our son for fear something might happen. One day, as she was rocking Brandon, she cried out to God to send fifty dollars so we could go out to eat and buy some food. On my trek home that night, I stopped to pick up the mail. You have already guessed it. I couldn't believe my eyes, my brother had sent fifty dollars. He wrote that he had felt he needed to send some money. I was ecstatic! Now realize this, I knew nothing of Karen's prayer. I thought I was going to be a bearer of grand tidings. I walked into the house and said, "you will never guess what just happened!" Karen looked at me and said, "God sent fifty dollars in the mail." This was no surprise for my wife but God was beginning to rejuvenate my faith. God had never left me. I was looking for him in the wrong room.
How is your faith?
How is your prayer?
As most newly married couples we were of meager means. But, as I recall, we enjoyed our drafty little home close to the Gunflint Trail in northern Minnesota. We loved Grand Marais! I enjoyed my job. We belonged to a nice little church and Karen was pregnant with our first child.
Our son, Brandon, was born with the "CHARGE" syndrome. This syndrome affected areas associated with the mid-line of the body. Though you would never know it now, growth was inhibited quite a bit in his earlier years. Even normal things, like lifting his head, had to be taught. I guess we didn't know this was terribly unusual since we hadn't had children before. However, I do remember thinking to myself that this was a lot of work. Why did people keep having children?
My wife was a trooper. She could do it all. I could clean up projectile distress from both ends but mealtime was out of my league. No, its not what you think, although, that would have been difficult as well. Brandon had to be fed with a gavage tube. Karen would slide a tube down Brandon's throat, into his stomach and pour life giving formula into his system. I just couldn't do it. To this very day, I can hardly hold back the tears, remembering the painful look in Brandon's eyes as Karen maneuvered the feeding tube down his little throat...than the satisfying contentment as the food dissolved his hunger.
I had accepted Jesus as my Savior and loved Him dearly for over ten years at that point in my life. What was happening? I felt He had left me alone. I laid on my son's bedroom floor crying for my God to come back. I was about to start a long journey of knowing God's presence through answered prayer.
Faith enables us to believe in God. Answered prayer brings validity to that faith. Sometimes I feel that we, in our blessed lives, have faith but our validation process is weak because we are able to answer most of our own prayers. I need a car...someone will give me a loan. I need clothes or food...charge it. Desperation is minimal. Brokenness allows God to shore up our faith.
Karen was exhausted. Brandon took a lot of care and she had no escape. No one would or could watch our son for fear something might happen. One day, as she was rocking Brandon, she cried out to God to send fifty dollars so we could go out to eat and buy some food. On my trek home that night, I stopped to pick up the mail. You have already guessed it. I couldn't believe my eyes, my brother had sent fifty dollars. He wrote that he had felt he needed to send some money. I was ecstatic! Now realize this, I knew nothing of Karen's prayer. I thought I was going to be a bearer of grand tidings. I walked into the house and said, "you will never guess what just happened!" Karen looked at me and said, "God sent fifty dollars in the mail." This was no surprise for my wife but God was beginning to rejuvenate my faith. God had never left me. I was looking for him in the wrong room.
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