Shadows

What lies in the unknown?

                                      Psalms 91:1-2

                   He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
                      will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
                   I will say of the Lord,
                       "He is my refuge and my fortress.
                            My God in whom I trust."

Ah, the farm.  It was a refuge. Sitting on the hill with my dog peering into the pasture as it wound its way to the river I watched nothing and for a moment had no cares.  School was over and summer had yet to be planned.  The grass, flowers and hay still smelled new.  Andy, my dog, was glad I was home and we stretched out in the sun to dream impossible dreams.  My memories of the farm also included a typical farm house with a breezeway and an attached garage.  On the corner of the house hung a light. Back behind the garage, to the southwest, we had a little kennel where I would put my dog at night.

If you picture this right you will see the darkness of a country evening settle in and engulf our farm.  This yard light, on the corner of the house could only stretch itself so far around the edge of the garage.  The kennel would disappear into incredible darkness. Who knows what kind of monsters were making their way up from the river.  When I put my dog in the kennel at night the shadows of the unknown were terrifying.

However, not all shadowy memories were so miserable.  Although the Minnesota State Fair had scary times of it's own, I do remember a comforting shadow.  My father was a tall stately gentleman.  His shadow, to me as a young kid at the fair, not only protected me from the hot sun but made me feel secure from the lurking's of the fair.  My dad knew what to do and where to go, I stayed close.

What shadows do I seek?  Do I put myself in shadows that terrify....or, do I long to stand in the comfort of the shadow of the Almighty?

Graduation

It's over! My last kid, my baby, has graduated.  Look at him cross the stage...so good looking and such a bright fellow. These traits, he must have gotten them from me since his mother still has hers.  This giggly boy of yesteryear whose favorite saying was, "am I annoying you yet?" has turned serious and introspective.  He holds me accountable on my flippancy and thoughtlessness.  He has a great heart for those who are less fortunate, maybe even at the expense of a place with the popular and polished.

An incredibly proud papa I am yet I sing the ever haunting song of "Cats in the Cradle."  Years have slipped away and time together seems to not have happened enough.  Surviving, fixing, providing and just living often stole away the experiences we may have shared together.

This parenthood thing really needs a manual, though most of us wouldn't read it until it was too late.  So many personalities, learning styles, environments and experiences all mixed together really give us little chance of success. Yet kids seem to manage and even flourish among our foibles.  They learn what not to pass on but often take many things we thought were mismanaged and carry on with great care.

The graduate is often asked what their future holds.  There can be a mix up between what I would like, what he would want and what God would see fit. My prayer is that as my input now changes, God would fill this man's life with wisdom I no longer can offer and people who can guide him where I no longer can go.

Study

  

In the book, "Pleasures Evermore", Sam Storms references a story in Greek mythology.  Ulysses was part of a rescue of Helen, the wife of Menelaus, the king of Greece.  In his travels Ulysses encountered many things including the Sirens being seductive and irresistible.  Being warned of the outward beauty and the inward treachery of the Sirens, Ulysses came up with a plan.  He put wax in the ears of his crew and ordered himself tied to the ships mast.  You see, the charming and compelling music they would encounter would only lead to their demise.  His reasoning behind tying himself to the mast was so that he could hear the alluring sounds but be unable to follow their plea.  Ulysses felt he did not succumb but Mr. Storms explains what he felt really happened on page 105 of his book.

"His 'no' was not the fruit of a spontaneous revulsion but the product of an external shackle."

He goes on to explain that we are not that much different. We long for sins pleasures but shackle ourselves "by laws, rules, taboos and prohibitions of our religious environment.  Our obedience is not the glad product of a transformed nature but a reluctant conformity born of fear and shame."

Once again he references mythology to drive his point.  Another person, Jason, traveled the path by the Sirens but had a different solution.  Jason brought his musician, Orpheus, to combat the seductive melody's of the wicked Sirens.  No wax or ropes were needed.  Orpheus played his most wonderful music.  Jason and his men did not succumb because they were captivated by the beautiful melody's played by Orpheus.

Mr. Storms sums it up like this:  "I want to love the things that God loves and hate what he hates, not simply because that is what I'm suppose to do but because that is what I long to do."

This all brings me to my notion of study.  How do I study?  Sometimes I think study is the gaining of knowledge.  But what is knowledge if it isn't useful or even worse what if it's incorrect?  Is incorrect knowledge really knowledge?  Let me set this up.  Now, I am coming from the assumption that we all agree Jesus has the kind of knowledge we all desire.  We see in the Old Testament God's knowledge had much focus in the law.  In the New Testament God's knowledge seemed to add aspects of attitude coming from the sacrifice he provided in his Son.  A possible example of this added attitude would be the story of the religious leaders and the adulterous woman.  The Old Testament law gave death by stoning.  The New Testament focuses on the attitude of both the religious leaders and the woman.  We see, in Luke 11:32, the shenanigans being played by these religious leaders and how they missed out on God's heart.  Do I need to couple the law of God along with the heart of God to produce this true knowledge?  If I have the heart without the precedent, am I missing out?  Likewise, if I have the precedent without the heart, am I missing out on this knowledge I am looking for?  It seems as if that is what Sam Storms is trying to get us to understand...."not because that is what I'm suppose to do but because that is what I long to do."

Back to the question.  How do I study?  Do I study God's word to gain the heart of God?  Or, do I study the Bible to grant myself permission?  Do I study the laws of God to hold myself up and prove myself righteous?  Or, do I study God's law to be more like the God I serve?  It seems as if these laws were established to cleanse rebellious hearts and alleviate the spreading of things God knew were toxic.  In the case of the religious leaders their "knowledge"  had come full circle and the toxicity had become their law.  Their knowledge without the heart of God had become stupidity.  I have great potential to rationalize, twist and coagulate the gospel into feeding my ideals.  It all comes back to my heart.  Do I want the heart of God or the heart of Jim? Study and knowledge seem like noble ideals.  But even in this we must be careful....the approval of God is what matters.

How do I amass all this information God gives me in his word?  It is truth, but how do I make it real?  Do I want my improvement or God's infiltration?

Is this world not full of these things we call knowledge and pleasures?  Do I okay things which are not okay because I have strapped myself to the mast of perceptive non-participation?  I must unhitch myself from the moorings and study the truth God has set before me, both his stipulations and forgiveness.  I must wrap myself up in the heart of God.  With Christ serenading me I am free to follow..."not because that is what  I'm suppose to do but  because that is what I long to do."