As I sit in stern laziness, the resiliency of wonderment drags me into thoughts musing the scepticism of man. The warm, home-made cardamom bread, laced with cinnamon sugar, is eased down with an ever so bold cup of coffee. Alone...guilt delivers a chill through this blanket of freedom. On these few days with no one to please, discipline or charm I joust away the feeling with the clicking of my pen.
"Yah, away you dastardly duties I forbid you to dispense of my freedom!" I scream.
"There are walls to paint and faucets to fix, my love." taunts Guilt Factor.
"No, I need time to think and focus." My mind blurs as I try to plan my escape of this...Mr. Factor.
"People will think naughty little thoughts of you when they notice you're not up to snuff with the Jone's!" He says in that irritating, put down tone.
I have never had an upside to worry about but my downside may be becoming a bit too noticeable, I ponder.
"Stop it! I won't fall for your snively little tricks." Again I find myself screaming.
"Oh, you lounge around now but soon responsibility will return and find how irresponsible you have been."
....One last jab scars my freedom.
God, build a wall about me. Deliver a blow to the master of soliloquy as I form unnecessary thoughts that I relegate important. You alone are my solace. Don't let me stumble over myself, lead me back to you.
Create in me a pure heart,
O God,
and renew a steadfast
spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your
presence
or take your Holy Spirit
from me.
Restore to me the joy of
Your salvation
and grant me a willing
spirit to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
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