I realize I will never understand all the great intricacies of God...how He thinks....how He connects everything. However, I do know He is perfect and never contradicts Himself.
Could my God harden my heart in such a fashion as to take away my ability to choose? I know my selfishness, ignorance and pride often cause my heart to harden, making me incapable of seeing my need or the needs of others. But, does it seem plausible that God would have this issue of a hardened heart? There is no way God could have or give a hardened heart, could He? There is a passage in the Bible, Exodus 8 - 11, where God hardens Pharaoh's heart. Could my God take away Pharaoh's ability to choose right from wrong? Now, don't close me off. God can do anything He wishes. He doesn't need my understanding or ignorance to grant Him permission. But this confuses me somewhat. This is why I muse.
Maybe I am missing something about God's process. Looking back at Pharaoh I noticed all the decisions he was making. Was Pharaoh having the same problem I have during decision time? I sometimes make the right decision for the wrong reasons. Maybe I change jobs...good decisions...for a corner office...wrong reason. Or, I buy a new car...good decision...so I look as important as my friend...wrong reason. The plagues could have definitely caused a similar response from Pharaoh. Who wouldn't do anything to be rid of frogs, locusts, hail or any of those terrible things? Pharaoh may have let the children of Israel go...the right thing to do.....for the wrong reason.....to be rid of the plagues, not because he had finally realized God was God.
In my feeble mind, my humanness, I picture a hardened heart as a negative, and ending...usually hopeless. It seems so instantaneous. But, being an all-knowing, just and loving God maybe he uses Pharaohs heart hardening as a positive, a chance for Pharaoh to allow God to reveal who God is. Maybe it wasn't so instantaneous. Maybe it was a process to eventually re-soften the stubbornness. Pharaoh may have let the children of Israel go for the wrong reason....to be rid of the plagues not because God was great. If this would have occurred, God wouldn't have allowed Pharaoh to see His glory or be able to build confidence in His people. Maybe they both needed more time? Perhaps God hardened Pharaoh's heart so he would continue to not let God's people go until he could make the right decision for the right reason. So in the hardening process God actually gave Pharaoh many chances to make the right choice, though Pharaoh chose not to yield. Not only does this show my God maintains His just cause but His love for us is more incredible than we deserve to beg for.
God hardening my heart may not be an end all for me making any decision but a process to help me make the right decision for the right reason.
When I harden my heart, I turn away the splendor He has to offer. When God hardens my heart maybe He offers me another chance to see His majesty. Will I allow my heart to re-soften and let God direct my life?
