I have a wonderful friend from years gone by and even though we only seem to see each other at funerals of mutual acquaintances, I hope I am considered a friend as well. When I have thought and prayed for her, as of late, memories of days gone by come to focus in my normally blurred mind.
I don't remember the exact words that were used but before I went to college she told me that us Benson boys are not very good "huggers". Off to college I went not registering such a preposterous statement. Returning from school I gave her a big hug, not thinking of our previous conversation, but because I was glad to be back amongst old friends. She said, "You're getting better." Odd as it may seem, her comments had significance.
To this day hugging can be uncomfortable. Is it my Scandinavian heritage or the revelations of confusing body language? Will they think I'm flirting? Should I do a front hug, side hug or a fist bump? Is all this hugging stuff even about me? Maybe my open arms of acceptance are nothing more than being vulnerable. I should think Jesus was a great hugger. He was there for all who needed him. His arms are open even when we yell, rebel or spit on Him..."Father forgive them for they know not what they do." I must beware, however, if I do inconsiderate things to my Savior when I know what I'm doing, but we'll leave that for another day. How many times could God say, "Enough, off with their heads"? But He doesn't, he gives us time to seek Him out.
I am programed to worry about me. I have no idea what other are going through. The most "together" people could be unraveling as fast as my favorite old shirt. I think I should open myself to others even if they despise me. I am awkward, I get that, I don't know what to do or what to say. There is protocol, standards and cultural issues, for sure. But maybe hugging isn't necessarily hugging. Maybe it's just being vulnerable to someone who needs a boost and the appreciation that they are who they are.
As I pray for this friend I hope she will accept the hugs of those who reach out to her and let their vulnerability give her peace. I think I was born one hundred years too late. I feel like I could go away, homestead some unknown land and be fine. But the Bible instructs me, in Hebrews 10:25, to ".....not forsake the assembling of ourselves together." We must be vulnerable to prod and be prodded, help and be helped, sharpen and be sharpened. This is how we manage the journey. It's not always easy but as we share this walk together the added strength that is received when we all become vulnerable makes our load lighter and our days seem brighter.
