Compassion
Compassion...what is it really? Is it a serious venture - one worth pursuing? Do I really care for people? Maybe this compassion thing is some kind of emotion conjured up within my head to make myself feel rightous. As a child my friends and I created our own little club to solve the ills of society. We would dredge up garbage out of the river.....and leave it on the shore. We would bring root beer and twinkies to the local drunk...but lost track of him when he didn't show up on the porch and yell at us. Did I really care about the river or the drunk man? In a way I suppose I did but mostly because it made me feel as if I was doing something. How can I sort out this thing called compassion?
Hate! Now there is an emotion I can wrap my head around. It stands for itself. It's catatonic really, self focused, self absorbed...a self inflicted stupor. But compassion is so complex because it takes so many directions. Experiences are different and personalities varied. How do I balance this emotion? There's empathy, discipline, teaching, giving, withholding, patience, pursuance and connectivity. There's the ability to care for someone who has done wrong, protect someone who's been wronged, cry with someone who is hurting, listen to someone who is suffering and work with someone who needs help. How can I be compassionate to the mistreated and the "treater"?
Could my compassionate base, with all these angles and directions, have flattened out and become murky? In my last few posts I've been writing about a dimension where we live through the Holy Spirit. This is a dimension God gives us to learn and be like Him.
Sure, I flounder in and out but do I really lose focus of myself, concentrate on the teaching of God's Spirit and allow myself to be Christ-like? Now don't cast me off as some mystical wack-job. God sends us help when we receive Him into our life. John 14:26 says God will send the Holy Spirit to "teach" us. John 16:13 says the Holy spirit will "guide" us. We are taught to be Christ-like and guided to do Christ-like things. So, when we are able to be Christ-like and not determining what Christ should be like, we are able to understand the difference between discipline and abuse, caring and posturing, giving and gloating, receiving and expectation.
Lets look at murky. In 2 Samuel 6 we see David bringing the ark of God to "his" city. The ark becomes unsettled during a stumble of the oxen. Uzzah, probably a very nice and kind man, reached out to steady the ark. God's anger "burned against him" (not good) and Uzzah died. Was Uzzah compassionate to steady the ark? Now this is my God. How is my faith? I often tend to wonder in criticism of God. Why, God ? As in, "how dare you"! But God gets it, He is always right. I should be asking, "why Uzzah". Don't get lost in this example but the idea is that problems are not God problems they are "me" problems. God is the Savior not the villain. How do I quit being murky? How do I make sure I don't reach when I should keep my hands close?
Maybe I've given up on the principles of truth. Compassion does not seem to be sentimentality, compassion is obedience. This isn't something I make up. Compassion has to do with the overflowing of Gods grace not the outpouring of my sense of wonderfulness. God's word points us to this very idea. Psalms 51:15-17 shows Davids heart when he had been found out in adultery. "To obey is better than sacrifice." Could it be that living truth is better than wishing I had? God gives us His word and His Spirit...not to manipulate but to obey.
Murky is uncomfortable. I often make stuff up in my head thinking I'm doing wonders and justifying my actions without really understanding the ramifications of "steadying" the "unsteady ark of God". I either didn't know or remember the truth or consequence of such an interference.
Really now...am I a pompous narcissist? Do I actually seek to be thoughtful and compassionate or do I just want people to notice my righteousness? Do I recycle and quietly relegate to be a good steward of God's resources or do I shine up my recycle bin in order to portray my diligence and criticize others? Am I loud and clear? Do I become raucous in my charity, activate my ideas, protest other's and pound my chest to acknowledge to everyone that I am quite incredible? Again...is my compassion misguided and murky because I have given up on the principles of truth?
Previously I had written about my mom (press link for post). She was a wonderful lady, not perfect but blessed for sure. In her last months of life I had wondered when a person's life becomes unviable. When does a life slip into "uselessness"? Was it at the point of pain, cost or unbefitting behavior? Is it ever useless? Were these thoughts uncomfortable? Yes, but a decision I may have had to make. This compassion question could not be murky in my mind. There was no way this answer could come from me. As I sought truth in God's word and direction from God's Spirit I was shown that my ways are not God's ways. Life affects people in ways unbeknownst to me and my hands must be careful what they steady. As my mom lay, seeming useless, in that nursing home, my brothers, who are quite gifted in their compassion, visited old friends, teachers from long ago and people they did not even know. We sang concerts, shared coffee, books, laughs and tears. My children learned more about love, care and concern than I could have taught them. All this happened because of a life that was just there. Am I willing to do away with life, whether young, old or imperfect because my compassion lies in the murky idea of alleviating hardship instead of elevating the creation of a marvelous God? I can't conform to some kind of mind twisting because truth seems uncomfortable.
I tend to make illogical, irrational and unreliable decisions based on what I am feeling today, instead of the unwavering truth of the Creator of all. I have the assurance truth is at my disposable and my gleanings will reap effective, consistent and concise answers based on the words of my God and the guidance of His Holy Spirit. ]
What do I do then? Being a pragmatic individual I want the 1, 2's and 3's and the A, B's and C's to offer me the exact analysis and solution. But often God doesn't work that way because He is so complex. So, when I am able to move past my idiosyncrasies and into the dimension he provided things look so different. I don't see how much, how long, how often, how soon or even...."why?". But God shows me truthful criteria to influence my decision making and guidance for how to manifest this compassion. Am I good at it? Not really. But God is... so I will continue to pursue Him.
I am unable to make many of these difficult decisions in this earthly dimension in which I spend too much time. This is because I have too much pride, greed and sin....too much me. I must move into the place where God teaches and His Holy Spirit guides me.
This compassion will bring many decisions and many will be difficult. But we will see God realign normal life and create dependence out of hardship, mercy out of pain and strength out of weakness. Realize then that this blog is not to say what should be done but where to go and whom to seek.
