Corporate leaders wandered through the store thanking, hand shaking and well wishing employees a happy holidays and a congratulations for a successful year. Among the chatter an introduction of a new employee was made and with the introduction came an explanation that this employee was in between jobs and was working here until full time employment was to be found. I cringed. Never would I begrudge someone from finding full time employment but I knew that soon we would be searching for yet another employee.
Days later I found out that someone else had taken that conversation much differently. This person had taken the conversation to mean that the new employee was much better than the rest of us and had lowered himself to work here till his feet landed that perfect job. He chose to believe there was an implication that we had chosen unworthy careers and were stuck here forever.
Often I have heard it, said it and even written about it, words mean things. We have to be careful! Tis very true, however, very often words don't mean things. We often make up meanings to build up something within our souls. We get upset, mad, bitter or create a cleverness about ourselves dragging in ideas that were not intended.
Why choose to read negative thoughts into harmless situations? Do I enjoy the bitterness, hatred and spite? Is it all really worth it? If I become this bitter old man, people will not want to hear my opinion. They will not want to desire in my desires or suffer in my suffering. And they surely will not want to know my God.
Many times I conjure up ideas about what people say and it affects my perspective of others and makes my flavor distasteful and my light go dim.
Matthew 5:13
"You are the salt of the earth; but if
the salt loses its flavor, how shall it
be seasoned/? It is then good for
nothing but to be thrown out and
trampled underfoot by men."
NKJV
Matthew 5:16
"Let your light so shine before men
that they my see your good works and
glorify your Father in Heaven."
NKJV
I pray that in this new year our flavor will be rich and our light will shine bright.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Christmas Child
CHRISTMAS CHILD
It has been many years now since my wife and I have taken in foster children. The kids were great but, at times, the advocacy was difficult. At one point we had a little boy who stayed with us much longer than anticipated. Karen worked tirelessly to protect and find a wonderful home for this little boy. The whole process took a few years enabling me to do something I maybe should have shielded myself from....we developed a special kind of a bond.
The image never goes away. As I would sit and read in the early morning my eyes would catch bouncing, curly hair traipsing down the stairs. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he would plop down next to me, wrap himself up in my arms and keep me company. Sometimes we didn't talk, but often we chatted about "stuff". It wasn't long now and he was gone, we had all finally settled on a good home, I didn't realize right away but this little boy had cut out a piece of my heart and taken it with him.
How much more must Christmas have felt to God? He wrapped up His Son, set Him in a cold manger and left Him in a warped, crazy world. God knew this baby would be mocked, ridiculed, beaten and killed. But He also knew there was no other way to defeat man's sinful hearts.
Oh how glad I am that God was willing to suffer the pain of separation so I could find this babe of Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Humility
High school....to some the rush of nostalgia flutters through the veins. Young crushes, athletic prowess, endless energy and built up stories of wonder. To others there is thankfulness the nightmare ended many years ago. To me, remembrances seem somewhat blurred...a true Scandinavian recollection, "ya, I guess it was ok."
I do remember wishing I had possessed a sense of "coolness" like some, popular, handsome, smart, athletic...traits I would have been willing to get used to. But as I look back there were only a select few of "those" people who had the one trait which made them incredibly appealing....cluelessness. There was no pulling back the shoulders, shoving out the chest, fluffing up the hair or looking down the nose. They had the wonderful traits of greatness but they didn't realize it. They would say hi to us floor watchers, help the teachers straighten up the desks and even pick up a tray someone left in the lunchroom. They would never point and laugh. They would smile and wave. Though I never felt worthy of a crush on a pretty and popular "cool" girl, her smile and hello enabled me to look up once in a while in search of a new friend. And that "all American boy", he included us minimally coordinated individuals without a second thought that a helping hand may infuse inferior germination.
Is humility somewhat like this pretty, gifted and kind girl who would dare not place herself on a pedestal higher than anyone else? Or the ruggedly, smart and handsome athletic boy who would include any and all into his band of friends, maybe he has some aspects of this coveted humility. It's not what they do that interests me however, it's how it all takes place. They are not conscience that they do such things, it doesn't cross their minds that they are who they are.
Humility, it seems to hang out on the precipice of life. If I feel I approach humility it's too easy to tip over and think myself humble thus ridding the trait. To be humble is all unknowing. The inkling of such a thought abolishes the presumption.
Humility is not the thought of putting others first or the action of doing for others, it's more than that. It's the complete lack of understanding that I may be humble, not caring if I'm humble and not even thinking to put others first.
Is it possible for me to be such? I think it's not something I "be"...maybe it's something I am, something I allow. It's impossible to "be" or create myself as such by want or desire. If I allow God's holiness to wash over and through me, than I realize this humility is not possible...thus making it more possible. God seems to have a way of ironing out the irony to keep me from messing up. If I would ever have the chance to approach humility, I would never know because I would be humble.
Humility also seems to have a set of standards or rightness that is understood. At times, in the past, I had thought humility was weak and could be pushed around or put aside, but Christ showed me different. He butted in line and went to the cross for me. He took the sword...the thorns....the grave. He despises my sin greatly, punishes me justly and loves me severely all in His humble effort to drag me back to what's good for me.
When I consider myself humble I am teetering on this cliff of disaster. May God wash me with the unconscious desire to follow Him in the fog of humility and the clarity of certainty that He is worthy and I am not.
I do remember wishing I had possessed a sense of "coolness" like some, popular, handsome, smart, athletic...traits I would have been willing to get used to. But as I look back there were only a select few of "those" people who had the one trait which made them incredibly appealing....cluelessness. There was no pulling back the shoulders, shoving out the chest, fluffing up the hair or looking down the nose. They had the wonderful traits of greatness but they didn't realize it. They would say hi to us floor watchers, help the teachers straighten up the desks and even pick up a tray someone left in the lunchroom. They would never point and laugh. They would smile and wave. Though I never felt worthy of a crush on a pretty and popular "cool" girl, her smile and hello enabled me to look up once in a while in search of a new friend. And that "all American boy", he included us minimally coordinated individuals without a second thought that a helping hand may infuse inferior germination.
Is humility somewhat like this pretty, gifted and kind girl who would dare not place herself on a pedestal higher than anyone else? Or the ruggedly, smart and handsome athletic boy who would include any and all into his band of friends, maybe he has some aspects of this coveted humility. It's not what they do that interests me however, it's how it all takes place. They are not conscience that they do such things, it doesn't cross their minds that they are who they are.
Humility, it seems to hang out on the precipice of life. If I feel I approach humility it's too easy to tip over and think myself humble thus ridding the trait. To be humble is all unknowing. The inkling of such a thought abolishes the presumption.
Humility is not the thought of putting others first or the action of doing for others, it's more than that. It's the complete lack of understanding that I may be humble, not caring if I'm humble and not even thinking to put others first.
Is it possible for me to be such? I think it's not something I "be"...maybe it's something I am, something I allow. It's impossible to "be" or create myself as such by want or desire. If I allow God's holiness to wash over and through me, than I realize this humility is not possible...thus making it more possible. God seems to have a way of ironing out the irony to keep me from messing up. If I would ever have the chance to approach humility, I would never know because I would be humble.
Humility also seems to have a set of standards or rightness that is understood. At times, in the past, I had thought humility was weak and could be pushed around or put aside, but Christ showed me different. He butted in line and went to the cross for me. He took the sword...the thorns....the grave. He despises my sin greatly, punishes me justly and loves me severely all in His humble effort to drag me back to what's good for me.
When I consider myself humble I am teetering on this cliff of disaster. May God wash me with the unconscious desire to follow Him in the fog of humility and the clarity of certainty that He is worthy and I am not.
Monday, November 4, 2013
Purpose
Proverbs 16:2
All a man's ways seem innocent
to him,
but motives are weighed
by the Lord.
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in a
man's heart,
but it is the Lord's purpose
that prevails.
Life isn't a round-a-bout allowing us to go around in a circle turning in and out whenever we please. Our course is a narrow, straight path focusing in on the direction God has purposed for us. We must not spend our time studying God's Word to see what we can get away with. We must study to see how we can best please our Savior.
Why do we always get out in front of ourselves? It doesn't matter if we are government, unions, employers, employees, parents or even spouses, if it is possible to control, we push it till conflict and chaos ensues. We ruin everything we have. We want control, we reach for chaos, we get both, we want neither.
As a politician, do I strive for freedom so my people can make decisions, or do I make decisions so my people must strive for freedom? As a union leader, do I breed loyalty and appreciation in my members, or do I cause irritation and angst developing a thankless heart and a lazy spirit? As an employer, do I understand my workers are the sweat of my success and reward them justly, or do I flaunt my power to take captive their willing spirit for my advantage? As an employee, am I thankful and willing to go above and beyond to help my employer become successful, or am I despondent and ungrateful making my presence pitiful? As a parent, do I encourage and teach my children to be upright in word and deed, or do I send the message of discord through my practice and perfection? As a spouse, do I understand my mate is there for my betterment not for my control?
What is my motive? Is my purpose in line with that of my God?
No matter how smart I feel, no matter what path I choose, whether I ignorantly misstep, rebelliously ruin or passionately follow, Gods purpose will prevail.
~As life moves on and our
pride becomes battered
our heart will grow softer
our dependence will grow stronger
our God will grow greater~
Monday, October 14, 2013
Regret
Where has time gone? I grew up near a small town, some 30 miles west of Minneapolis. Thirty-three acres of hobby farm allowed much room for my dog and me to scamper about. At the back end of this property lay a meandering muddy river filled with prize Bullheads. Trailing this river toward town, a mile or so, brings us to my good friend. There's his home just off the river ready to take yet another spring barrage of water and debris.
We couldn't put up with it any longer we had to fix the "dilemmas" of nature and society. The secret club began. A bunch of fourth and fifth grade boys were about to right all wrong. Oaths were stated and dues were collected, nature was our first battle. Spring had sprung and our beautiful river was laden with all kinds of "stuff" carried from its long journey. Washing machines, tires, doors, almost anything that water could push was trying to sneak by.
The wary sleuth's wasted no time. Our pockets filled with due collections, we rallied the troops to the hardware store. Ropes, cables, hooks and anything else used in river dredging was whisked from the shelves. Unfortunately, the helpful hardware man had to put most of it back because we could only afford a short piece of cable and a hook. No worry, much greater wrongs had been righted with much less. We were off!
Toasters, chairs and car doors were among the debris collected from the river and deposited on the shore. The idea was fabulous, the procedure was inefficient. Not only did my friends family have to put up with the unsightly garbage on the shore the rest of the year, the garbage would be washed down the river in the next spring flood. We were eight or nine, what did we know?
Now that the problems of the environment had been solved we moved on to the humanitarian challenges of the day. My friend and I would ride our bikes around town looking for things to do and see. An old man on an old porch would often catch our eye. This poor man was not very friendly, responsive or sober. He would be our new project.
Back we went to the secrecy of our club room to plan our strategy. This plan would be flawless. There was no room for mistakes this time, we were dealing with a person. The plan was set, we checked out our stash of money and headed for Mayer Grocery. There was no way this would fail....Twinkies and root beer, no one could resist our friendship. The conversation was awkward at best, the treats were criticized but our visits were not discouraged. Soon this old man with no name faded from the porch and I have no recollection of his final chapter. I'm afraid our follow-up capabilities had not yet matured.
This partner in care, my good friend, had not yet given his heart to this God I now call mine, however, he was interested. Around this time of figuring out our responsibility in society our church sponsored a movie, we called it a film of course, which depicted the love and concern of a God who created this conscience my friend and I were developing. I invited my buddy to come take a look and off we went. After the movie my friend was moved both by the message and the call to salvation. He asked me to go up front with him. I froze, feeling people may think I was a rebellious rascal who fell back on his earlier decision...I didn't go with him....he didn't go either.
Failures were mounting quickly. We changed schools and this new place offered a much higher class clientele of which I could not compete...my good friend and I drifted apart. As time went on through high school and college I tried to resurrect the experience to him through letters and prayers but to no avail. May I have banished my friend from heaven because I was "chicken" to go up front with him?
Time is short, change happens quickly. A soft heart may harden before another chance is available. Don't put Christ aside for the giving or the taking, it's not worth the regret.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Old Fashioned
A few years ago, my mother-in-law was shopping at a grocery store in Upper Michigan. As usual, she was chatting with the store clerks, making everyone feel comfortable. Gordon Food Service (GFS), is a very customer friendly store and will gladly order any special items for you, slice meats and cheeses and fulfill most any other request you have. A grill out was in the making so the proper items were being sought out. My mother-in-law brought a rather large chunk of cheese to the teenage boy at the slicing counter and she proceeded to say one of those "take back" sentences.
"If you could cut the cheese, I'll go take a look at your buns."
Maybe sooner than almost immediately, she realized her comment and giggled off to aisle 6 to check out the buns. The teenage boy sliced up the cheese and made certain his back was up against the wall.
Do I often say things I wish I hadn't? Do words come out less profound or not so eloquent as I had hoped? Are my expressions, ideas and phrases out of date? I understand these questions are very easy to answer, hence the muse of my blog.
Lately, I have been made privy to different bloggers who humorously depict characteristics and mannerisms of people trying to live for their God. Over the years my focus of Christlikeness has, most possibly, developed these characteristics, opening the door to this sarcastic bloggery. My pursuance of God may cause irritation to many people. I most likely use goofy words, bad spelling and grammar combined with idiosyncrasies that seem weird and old fashioned. I do wish I was up to date, interesting, funny and full of new wisdom fulfilling mans desire to follow Christ. However, it seems, I have not been blessed with overly scintillating bits of information. But, hopefully, my writing may be taken as heartfelt and not be looked at as buffoonery. My desire is constantly being updated but my techniques may be somewhat behind the times. Church speak, being cautious and sensitive leads to criticism because it seems overly zealous, out of date and accusatory. The reality, however, is a true desire to be the best I can for my Savior.
Criticism may be in order and a little "lightning up" may be the course for those of us who button our shirts too high or our skirts too low. But understand, the desire for a sense of purity is not all bad. You may feel I am forcing my carefulness on you because I do or don't do things, when the truth is, I struggle with my ability to be less than I should.
I follow my Christ in the world I am part of and try not to be too stogy. Some, although, may feel a cold castle in the mountains would better suit me. If you could somehow adjust your view to avoid my "codgery" and focus in on the few things that may affect you positively, I would be pleased for you to catch some of the love I have for my God.
"If you could cut the cheese, I'll go take a look at your buns."
Maybe sooner than almost immediately, she realized her comment and giggled off to aisle 6 to check out the buns. The teenage boy sliced up the cheese and made certain his back was up against the wall.
Do I often say things I wish I hadn't? Do words come out less profound or not so eloquent as I had hoped? Are my expressions, ideas and phrases out of date? I understand these questions are very easy to answer, hence the muse of my blog.
Lately, I have been made privy to different bloggers who humorously depict characteristics and mannerisms of people trying to live for their God. Over the years my focus of Christlikeness has, most possibly, developed these characteristics, opening the door to this sarcastic bloggery. My pursuance of God may cause irritation to many people. I most likely use goofy words, bad spelling and grammar combined with idiosyncrasies that seem weird and old fashioned. I do wish I was up to date, interesting, funny and full of new wisdom fulfilling mans desire to follow Christ. However, it seems, I have not been blessed with overly scintillating bits of information. But, hopefully, my writing may be taken as heartfelt and not be looked at as buffoonery. My desire is constantly being updated but my techniques may be somewhat behind the times. Church speak, being cautious and sensitive leads to criticism because it seems overly zealous, out of date and accusatory. The reality, however, is a true desire to be the best I can for my Savior.
Criticism may be in order and a little "lightning up" may be the course for those of us who button our shirts too high or our skirts too low. But understand, the desire for a sense of purity is not all bad. You may feel I am forcing my carefulness on you because I do or don't do things, when the truth is, I struggle with my ability to be less than I should.
I follow my Christ in the world I am part of and try not to be too stogy. Some, although, may feel a cold castle in the mountains would better suit me. If you could somehow adjust your view to avoid my "codgery" and focus in on the few things that may affect you positively, I would be pleased for you to catch some of the love I have for my God.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Labor Day
I have a brother who is a very successful business man. He has come to a stage in his business that most successful entrepreneurs probably come. This is a stage of transition from "hands in everything" to "hands off most things". Though I don't know personally, I can imagine that the passage from knowing every intricate detail of your business to trusting other people with these details could be daunting. The feeling of lost control haunts us all.
He has coped quite well, it seems, and he actually seems less stressed. I certainly hope this perception is correct. Through this success and transition, he continues to reach out and share a joy of "work". My brother has an intrinsic ability to trust people for who they are, not what they have become. He has this wonderful dedication to family, friends and family friends. He not only has a soft heart but a deep sense of responsibility to help. He trusts that people have the ability, but sometimes they just need a little tweaking in the desire category. If you have ever been long on need and short on a chance, this man would be the employer for you.
There is one criteria attached to working for this brother of mine...you must do just that...work. He doesn't like to pay people for sleeping in or acting out. This doesn't seem to be too unruly since it is a "job".
He knows this employer "stuff" is somewhat of a risk, therefore, he doesn't leave this chance to chance. He must perform maintenance along the way creating as much character in these employees as possible. He teaches them difficult traits such as; if you start at 8:00 am, you start at 8:00 am. Or maybe that most people feel sick in the morning if one stays out and parties all night. He helps with solution oriented decisions like; if you work early don't party late. He shows that better decisions are better for you. Once he helps them make their sense common he has a very good chance to have a very good employee who not only appreciates their employer but their labor as well.
Are times as hard as they feel? Are problems as big as we make them? Are people as irritating as they seem? I think our mind develops more stress than our life. We miss out on the joys of our labor because we get hung up on the expectation of our desires.
I deliver groceries to a dear old lady. Her house is in shambles, her family lives far away and her health is not good. She comes to her door and meets me in her wheelchair as she shakes uncontrollably. Her labor of the day is to make it to the door and welcome me. Her joy is intense, her smile is insatiable, she has infected me with her thankfulness. Does my joy and appreciation for my labor infect people or will I celebrate this holiday with a criticism that my steak was grilled a bit too long?
We all have some labor to attend to. Are you a CEO? Do you flip burgers? Do you dedicate your life to caring for your family? Labor is a good thing! Not only does it give us something to do, but it allows us a chance to infuse our thankfulness into the world.
Happy Labor Day!
He has coped quite well, it seems, and he actually seems less stressed. I certainly hope this perception is correct. Through this success and transition, he continues to reach out and share a joy of "work". My brother has an intrinsic ability to trust people for who they are, not what they have become. He has this wonderful dedication to family, friends and family friends. He not only has a soft heart but a deep sense of responsibility to help. He trusts that people have the ability, but sometimes they just need a little tweaking in the desire category. If you have ever been long on need and short on a chance, this man would be the employer for you.
There is one criteria attached to working for this brother of mine...you must do just that...work. He doesn't like to pay people for sleeping in or acting out. This doesn't seem to be too unruly since it is a "job".
He knows this employer "stuff" is somewhat of a risk, therefore, he doesn't leave this chance to chance. He must perform maintenance along the way creating as much character in these employees as possible. He teaches them difficult traits such as; if you start at 8:00 am, you start at 8:00 am. Or maybe that most people feel sick in the morning if one stays out and parties all night. He helps with solution oriented decisions like; if you work early don't party late. He shows that better decisions are better for you. Once he helps them make their sense common he has a very good chance to have a very good employee who not only appreciates their employer but their labor as well.
Are times as hard as they feel? Are problems as big as we make them? Are people as irritating as they seem? I think our mind develops more stress than our life. We miss out on the joys of our labor because we get hung up on the expectation of our desires.
I deliver groceries to a dear old lady. Her house is in shambles, her family lives far away and her health is not good. She comes to her door and meets me in her wheelchair as she shakes uncontrollably. Her labor of the day is to make it to the door and welcome me. Her joy is intense, her smile is insatiable, she has infected me with her thankfulness. Does my joy and appreciation for my labor infect people or will I celebrate this holiday with a criticism that my steak was grilled a bit too long?
We all have some labor to attend to. Are you a CEO? Do you flip burgers? Do you dedicate your life to caring for your family? Labor is a good thing! Not only does it give us something to do, but it allows us a chance to infuse our thankfulness into the world.
Happy Labor Day!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Remembrance
I have been admonished, in a good way, of dwelling on the sin of man more than the grace of God. This may be a right judgment of me as I think and write upside down and sideway creating misunderstanding. Of course, Gods grace is much more important than my sin. If I have given any other thought I am sorry.
By the grace of God, Jesus died on a cross for me. All the useless, disgusting, awful things of both now and later, Jesus hung on that cross for me. And should I choose to accept this gift and ask for His forgiveness, God will bury my sin as far away and deep as could possibly be. God has forgiven and forgotten my sin so He may not even know what I dwell on sometimes. I have accepted His grace and don't wallow in the fear of not being forgiven. The scars are what concern me.
Jesus died and rose again for me. He is God! He rose from the dead! What's the deal with the scars in His feet, hands and side? Wouldn't scar healing be much easier than death healing? Maybe He left those there for a reason. I look at those scars as reminders, not of what I've done (that's buried) but what I don't want to do again.
I mentioned in my last muse about the scar of my daughter. That scar given to her, not unlike the scars of Jesus were created by my lack of discipline. I said that she came to me for comfort. As much as she came to get comfort, it was the comfort of acceptance she gave to me, I most remember. All these scars I've caused remind me to appreciate, stay vigilant and not take advantage of this grace God has given, which cancels any amount of my sin.
If I don't prepare to beware, my susceptibility will be too great.
Expectation dislodges the glory of Grace
Duty misrepresents the gift of Grace
Thanks minimizes the magnificence of Grace
If I don't remember the scars I have produced, I won't understand the awesomeness of this grace that has been given. As my daughter, in her pain, comforted me in her embrace, so Jesus envelops me in His outstretched arms of grace.
By the grace of God, Jesus died on a cross for me. All the useless, disgusting, awful things of both now and later, Jesus hung on that cross for me. And should I choose to accept this gift and ask for His forgiveness, God will bury my sin as far away and deep as could possibly be. God has forgiven and forgotten my sin so He may not even know what I dwell on sometimes. I have accepted His grace and don't wallow in the fear of not being forgiven. The scars are what concern me.
Jesus died and rose again for me. He is God! He rose from the dead! What's the deal with the scars in His feet, hands and side? Wouldn't scar healing be much easier than death healing? Maybe He left those there for a reason. I look at those scars as reminders, not of what I've done (that's buried) but what I don't want to do again.
I mentioned in my last muse about the scar of my daughter. That scar given to her, not unlike the scars of Jesus were created by my lack of discipline. I said that she came to me for comfort. As much as she came to get comfort, it was the comfort of acceptance she gave to me, I most remember. All these scars I've caused remind me to appreciate, stay vigilant and not take advantage of this grace God has given, which cancels any amount of my sin.
If I don't prepare to beware, my susceptibility will be too great.
Expectation dislodges the glory of Grace
Duty misrepresents the gift of Grace
Thanks minimizes the magnificence of Grace
If I don't remember the scars I have produced, I won't understand the awesomeness of this grace that has been given. As my daughter, in her pain, comforted me in her embrace, so Jesus envelops me in His outstretched arms of grace.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Scars
Years ago, when my daughter was young, we had resurrected a rickety, old metal swing set. A little tender loving care and a few new bolts were needed in this extremely important project. My vast array of old nuts and bolts produced only options that were much too long. I was able to piece the set together but in my effort to finish quickly I failed to saw off and file smooth, the extra long bolts. One day, during my daughters swinging and climbing routine, she slipped off the swing set and slid down a protruding bolt. I held my screaming girl while doing my best to sort out her shredded stomach.
I would never have planned for my carelessness to cause such pain for my dear little child, but planned or unplanned, my lack of discipline had caused a huge scar to one I loved dearly.
Does this folly follow me everywhere, exacerbated by my unwillingness to follow through? Do I limit my care and thoughtfulness because I feel I deserve more love and compassion from family and friends? Do I feel left out because my ideas were not chosen? Do I not tidy up the loose ends of a misunderstanding and dislodge a friendship? Or do I not file off the burrs of a misrepresentation and allow a relationship to develop an ugly scar?
Even though my lack of diligence tore through the body of my baby girl, she still came to me with open arms expecting no apology but only a desire for comfort.
As I stumble my way through this life, I would hope people would trust that my foibles are mostly a lack of attention not desire or intension. May God grant me the ability to continue to piece together broken structures and may He heal the scars produced by the burrs and bolts of life I have missed.
I would never have planned for my carelessness to cause such pain for my dear little child, but planned or unplanned, my lack of discipline had caused a huge scar to one I loved dearly.
Does this folly follow me everywhere, exacerbated by my unwillingness to follow through? Do I limit my care and thoughtfulness because I feel I deserve more love and compassion from family and friends? Do I feel left out because my ideas were not chosen? Do I not tidy up the loose ends of a misunderstanding and dislodge a friendship? Or do I not file off the burrs of a misrepresentation and allow a relationship to develop an ugly scar?
Even though my lack of diligence tore through the body of my baby girl, she still came to me with open arms expecting no apology but only a desire for comfort.
As I stumble my way through this life, I would hope people would trust that my foibles are mostly a lack of attention not desire or intension. May God grant me the ability to continue to piece together broken structures and may He heal the scars produced by the burrs and bolts of life I have missed.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Base
We have most always been a world filled with sin. Does this sinful world seem like a different kind of rampant now? Am I more wimpy? Do I feel more susceptible as I get older? Are my feelings unreliable? Whatever the case sin haunts me.
Throughout time sin has seemed to take on different categories . Satan started this whole miserable thing and was so defiant that not only was he willing to be cast out of heaven but he made it his goal to drag everyone along with him. This defiance was an absolute crazed rebellion and hate for what was God. Adam and Eve followed suit with this sin but took a different path. Curiosity, dissatisfaction and distrust of conscience led to their distraction. This was all followed by remorse, regret and seeking a place to hide. Cain forged his path by feeling what had happened before was cultural, sacrificing the precedent of sacrifice for what he determined was the new normal. He put himself before God, deciding what was right. His rebellion got him into big trouble but he came to understand the waywardness of his ways and asked for God's help, though he seemed more scared for his skin than shamed by his sin.
The cycle continued and we see defiance return.
Genesis 6:5
The Lord saw how great man's wickedness
on the earth had become and that every
inclination of the thoughts of his heart
was only evil all the time.
verse 6
The Lord was grieved that he had
made man on the earth and his
heart was filled with pain.
What is worse, I wonder, that my heart would be filled with evil "all" the time or that I've filled the heart of God with pain? In reality, I guess, both are worse.
The flood and destruction followed.
What part of this cycle are we in that sin seems so overwhelming? We have always had this "evil" heart but seemed to consider it evil and did our best to hide and cover it up. Have we crossed the bridge to a defiant reality, a reality where there is no wrong? If there is no wrong I'm possibly always right. Has our base changed from stationary to fluctuation? Has the bar of good and evil begun to float to keep me always good and never bad depending on my deception and demeanor?
Is it true that I'm not evil just because I tell myself that I'm not evil? Can I persuade myself that this philosophy makes sense? It seems so odd because I have heard many stories of people who convince themselves they must steal, assault or even kill to fulfill some onslaught of righteousness. Some decisions, however, are not so easy to determine. The line becomes so foggy when I adjust my base to accommodate my desires.
Christlikeness....just the idea of me attempting such a feat is overwhelming. I could never stay true to my God if I allowed myself to create a base to live by. Even though I fail so often, having a base to follow founded on the goodness of the creator is incredibly freeing.
Throughout time sin has seemed to take on different categories . Satan started this whole miserable thing and was so defiant that not only was he willing to be cast out of heaven but he made it his goal to drag everyone along with him. This defiance was an absolute crazed rebellion and hate for what was God. Adam and Eve followed suit with this sin but took a different path. Curiosity, dissatisfaction and distrust of conscience led to their distraction. This was all followed by remorse, regret and seeking a place to hide. Cain forged his path by feeling what had happened before was cultural, sacrificing the precedent of sacrifice for what he determined was the new normal. He put himself before God, deciding what was right. His rebellion got him into big trouble but he came to understand the waywardness of his ways and asked for God's help, though he seemed more scared for his skin than shamed by his sin.
The cycle continued and we see defiance return.
Genesis 6:5
The Lord saw how great man's wickedness
on the earth had become and that every
inclination of the thoughts of his heart
was only evil all the time.
verse 6
The Lord was grieved that he had
made man on the earth and his
heart was filled with pain.
What is worse, I wonder, that my heart would be filled with evil "all" the time or that I've filled the heart of God with pain? In reality, I guess, both are worse.
The flood and destruction followed.
What part of this cycle are we in that sin seems so overwhelming? We have always had this "evil" heart but seemed to consider it evil and did our best to hide and cover it up. Have we crossed the bridge to a defiant reality, a reality where there is no wrong? If there is no wrong I'm possibly always right. Has our base changed from stationary to fluctuation? Has the bar of good and evil begun to float to keep me always good and never bad depending on my deception and demeanor?
Is it true that I'm not evil just because I tell myself that I'm not evil? Can I persuade myself that this philosophy makes sense? It seems so odd because I have heard many stories of people who convince themselves they must steal, assault or even kill to fulfill some onslaught of righteousness. Some decisions, however, are not so easy to determine. The line becomes so foggy when I adjust my base to accommodate my desires.
Christlikeness....just the idea of me attempting such a feat is overwhelming. I could never stay true to my God if I allowed myself to create a base to live by. Even though I fail so often, having a base to follow founded on the goodness of the creator is incredibly freeing.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Respect
If you are under thirty-five years of age, you will most likely not understand the emotion of my muse. This example of respect may be generational but the idea is definitely transferable.
It has been forty years and it seems as if the sun has not yet set. Actions of yesteryear lie buried in my soul. We were entering Watertown from the east, our youth excursion was almost over. We had had a grand ol' time doing what, I don't remember. As our car barreled down the big hill towards the river, I saw my friend's dad coming towards us in his nifty police cruiser. Being very tired and somewhat giddy, I hung my head out the window, waved frantically, called out to him, by his first name, and yelled "Hi"! What had I done...? I couldn't get my head in the window fast enough. You don't call an adult by their first name! My stomach felt awful...I suspect a little like Peter when he denied his Christ.
I had just disrespected a man I should have honored. That family had a divorce soon afterward...was I at fault? I'm sure there was no harm done and I bet he was glad that I was glad to see him.
I had often thought there was no disrespect if the approached party doesn't care if they are respected. Have I fallen into the trap of placing the obligation of respect on the conscience of the deserved? Does respect work that way? If so, I can gloat in the joy of my ignorance and the serenity of my miscalculation.
"Oh, he doesn't care if I show respect."
"He doesn't deserve my respect."
"If he doesn't respect me, why should I respect him?"
In this ignorance and miscalculation is my respect to my God also haphazard?
"Well how are ya doin? Let me give you a few requests and I'm off to
something more important."
Am I flippant with the Creator and His children?
Respect is a tricky thing because I have this incredible ability to think people are not great enough for my high approval.
Snappy salutations don't always have to be stated but the heartfelt driven idea is that "God has a reason for you and I respect you for the miles you have put in."
Respect is garnered by the greatness of our Creator not by my calculation of how individuals match up to my "perfection". Respect is my genuine honor of Gods' creation. Jesus is a great example of this. He understands who people are, what they are dealing with and how he can help them in their journey.
I told you that there was probably no harm done to my friends dad....do I know that to be true? Did my insolent behavior lower his susceptibility? I will never know. But I learned from that example that I owe many more people much more respect a lot more often.
It has been forty years and it seems as if the sun has not yet set. Actions of yesteryear lie buried in my soul. We were entering Watertown from the east, our youth excursion was almost over. We had had a grand ol' time doing what, I don't remember. As our car barreled down the big hill towards the river, I saw my friend's dad coming towards us in his nifty police cruiser. Being very tired and somewhat giddy, I hung my head out the window, waved frantically, called out to him, by his first name, and yelled "Hi"! What had I done...? I couldn't get my head in the window fast enough. You don't call an adult by their first name! My stomach felt awful...I suspect a little like Peter when he denied his Christ.
I had just disrespected a man I should have honored. That family had a divorce soon afterward...was I at fault? I'm sure there was no harm done and I bet he was glad that I was glad to see him.
I had often thought there was no disrespect if the approached party doesn't care if they are respected. Have I fallen into the trap of placing the obligation of respect on the conscience of the deserved? Does respect work that way? If so, I can gloat in the joy of my ignorance and the serenity of my miscalculation.
"Oh, he doesn't care if I show respect."
"He doesn't deserve my respect."
"If he doesn't respect me, why should I respect him?"
In this ignorance and miscalculation is my respect to my God also haphazard?
"Well how are ya doin? Let me give you a few requests and I'm off to
something more important."
Am I flippant with the Creator and His children?
Respect is a tricky thing because I have this incredible ability to think people are not great enough for my high approval.
Snappy salutations don't always have to be stated but the heartfelt driven idea is that "God has a reason for you and I respect you for the miles you have put in."
Respect is garnered by the greatness of our Creator not by my calculation of how individuals match up to my "perfection". Respect is my genuine honor of Gods' creation. Jesus is a great example of this. He understands who people are, what they are dealing with and how he can help them in their journey.
I told you that there was probably no harm done to my friends dad....do I know that to be true? Did my insolent behavior lower his susceptibility? I will never know. But I learned from that example that I owe many more people much more respect a lot more often.
Friday, May 24, 2013
How Long?
When interviewing, a question that comes up quite often and I'm sure is lied about quite regularly is this ~ "Tell me about a failure in your life." Nice! I'm here to impress you with my qualities and you want to know how much of a loser I am. Well, here goes another job offer down the tubes.
One of my many failures came out in a review I once had. This boss of mine told me that my biggest problem is that I hold on to people too long. "When people don't produce for you, cut them off sooner" he said. I'm not sure if I have this problem because I want my people to succeed or if I don't want to fail.
Over the years, being in contact with many different kinds of employees, I see characteristics that irk me. Some because they remind me of quirks I can't get rid of in myself and some because it causes me trials....more work, more discipline, more confrontation. When I look at the situation as their fault, the irritation worsens and not only is the problem not solved, I become a problem as well. Comradary becomes worse, my attitude begins to affect other things I do...how I handle situations and relationships. And certainly this fault thing doesn't help my progress with said party.
Compassion becomes another option. Wanting to see someone succeed gives an outward goal......something else to focus on rather than worry about poor, poor me. Many times people are waiting for an arm around the shoulder or a kick in the butt to give them the motivation they need to move on to the next level. The ability to watch someone grow and develop is exciting. Unfortunately, growing and developing isn't always the outcome. Yet, in the battle, many positives about this person surface because my heart wasn't blinded by my self-centeredness. The time may come, however, for some people to move on and have this mentoring process continue elsewhere.
Often I look at these situations and wonder if the placement of these people in my life were there for their betterment or for growth in my life.
How long do I hold on? Always a good question to ponder.
One of my many failures came out in a review I once had. This boss of mine told me that my biggest problem is that I hold on to people too long. "When people don't produce for you, cut them off sooner" he said. I'm not sure if I have this problem because I want my people to succeed or if I don't want to fail.
Over the years, being in contact with many different kinds of employees, I see characteristics that irk me. Some because they remind me of quirks I can't get rid of in myself and some because it causes me trials....more work, more discipline, more confrontation. When I look at the situation as their fault, the irritation worsens and not only is the problem not solved, I become a problem as well. Comradary becomes worse, my attitude begins to affect other things I do...how I handle situations and relationships. And certainly this fault thing doesn't help my progress with said party.
Compassion becomes another option. Wanting to see someone succeed gives an outward goal......something else to focus on rather than worry about poor, poor me. Many times people are waiting for an arm around the shoulder or a kick in the butt to give them the motivation they need to move on to the next level. The ability to watch someone grow and develop is exciting. Unfortunately, growing and developing isn't always the outcome. Yet, in the battle, many positives about this person surface because my heart wasn't blinded by my self-centeredness. The time may come, however, for some people to move on and have this mentoring process continue elsewhere.
Often I look at these situations and wonder if the placement of these people in my life were there for their betterment or for growth in my life.
How long do I hold on? Always a good question to ponder.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Deception
Jerusalem, a few hills in valleys surrounded by mountains....The Valley of Vision. A surge from the enemy was imminent. The people don't care, they want to party. The powers to be try to refortify the city, however, they forgot one thing....God.
Isaiah 22:11
"...but you did not look to the One
who made it, or have regard for the
One who planned it long ago."
vs. 12
"The Lord, The Lord Almighty called you on
that day to weep and wail, to tear
out your hair and put on sackcloth"
There was nothing but joy and revelry.
In these days, do I try to console, comfort and make peace with all kinds of Evil in an effort to have fun and frivolity and convince myself all is going right? Do I profess a certain sort of sexuality and whittle away at God's creation and call something that is impossible, possible so I can afford manipulation of my fancies or fantasy's? Do I eliminate life and pronounce things as nothing to assure my revelry is not interrupted? Do I oppose just cause so I don't tweak my tender self-esteem? All this in a false effort to protect this "Valley of Vision" from certain disaster?
God does not want my fake solutions nor my clever calculations. He wants me to weep and wail for mercy, put on sackcloth of humility, tear out my hair of self righteousness and walk His path....live His life.
Sin is ramping up and do I really care? It seems that the higher the ladder of sin goes the more rungs I can climb without being noticed. It gives me a chance to revel without a pointed finger. I must be careful then, not to be sucked into this vacuum of sin.
I am no different than Jerusalem of old, but I had better listen and learn or:
Isaiah 22:14
"...till your dying day this sin will not be atoned for."
Is everything really fine? Do I just rely on my perceived immensity or do I choose to follow Christ?
Whether I like it or not, I am in the Valley of Vision. I will be watched. I may be persecuted. No matter the price, I must caution myself against this evil that surrounds me. Beware, God won't stand for deceivers...or the deceived.
Isaiah 22:11
"...but you did not look to the One
who made it, or have regard for the
One who planned it long ago."
vs. 12
"The Lord, The Lord Almighty called you on
that day to weep and wail, to tear
out your hair and put on sackcloth"
There was nothing but joy and revelry.
In these days, do I try to console, comfort and make peace with all kinds of Evil in an effort to have fun and frivolity and convince myself all is going right? Do I profess a certain sort of sexuality and whittle away at God's creation and call something that is impossible, possible so I can afford manipulation of my fancies or fantasy's? Do I eliminate life and pronounce things as nothing to assure my revelry is not interrupted? Do I oppose just cause so I don't tweak my tender self-esteem? All this in a false effort to protect this "Valley of Vision" from certain disaster?
God does not want my fake solutions nor my clever calculations. He wants me to weep and wail for mercy, put on sackcloth of humility, tear out my hair of self righteousness and walk His path....live His life.
Sin is ramping up and do I really care? It seems that the higher the ladder of sin goes the more rungs I can climb without being noticed. It gives me a chance to revel without a pointed finger. I must be careful then, not to be sucked into this vacuum of sin.
I am no different than Jerusalem of old, but I had better listen and learn or:
Isaiah 22:14
"...till your dying day this sin will not be atoned for."
Is everything really fine? Do I just rely on my perceived immensity or do I choose to follow Christ?
Whether I like it or not, I am in the Valley of Vision. I will be watched. I may be persecuted. No matter the price, I must caution myself against this evil that surrounds me. Beware, God won't stand for deceivers...or the deceived.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Bait
When I was in college I took a literature course and found myself debating, all too often with my teacher, about the thoughts of writers. We would all sit around in class and discuss what was going through the minds of these authors. My teacher always seemed to know where these thoughts came from and where they were going.
"Why use a raven to say nevermore?"
"What's the real deal with this throbbing heart?"
"Was Mr. Poe giving us a clue or skirting the real issue?"
"Was he scared, angry, depressed....?"
"Did he want us to listen closer or steer us away?"
I had so many questions. Often we have no clue what people are saying and relate our own experiences to develop some relevance.
I did a little experiment and took some of my writings to my dorm mates and asked them what I may have been thinking when I wrote what I wrote.
Since you are reading my blogs this may not come as a surprise but everyone, including my teacher, received a different slant to the thoughts behind my pen. Instead of delving into the whereabouts of a thought, it seems much easier for me to make a comfortable conclusion about the idea.
Isaac Watts wrote a song, At the Cross, in which he classified himself as a worm;
Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
for such a worm as I?
This rendition was cast off and worm was substituted for "...sinners such as I?" Wouldn't Mr. Watts put sinners if he wanted sinners? Why change it? Maybe worm has some bad connotations....? Precisely! Why would Jesus die for me, a slimy, disgusting worm? I don't know, maybe "worm" is a cuss word in Greek or something. If it is, I apologize but try to come back to the English language with me and see if we can shake this out a bit. What might Isaac Watts have been thinking when he called himself a worm?
"....such a worm as I." What a line. It isn't a real pretty picture, but it is so indicative of who we are. We aren't too pleasing and often get ourselves in trouble when we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The problem with worms, when they get caught, is two fold. Not only are they skewered on a fishing hook and forced to die a slow death, they are also used as bait to lure something else to its demise.
This is not too unlike us now is it? Stay with me here, these examples are used as parallels not comparisons. We, as the worms, are surrounded by our safe haven of dirt or God's protection. We are lured out into the world by the falling rains of temptation. We are then snatched by the fishermen of deceit (sorry anglers) to not only be abused but used in the reeling in of captors to build the army of Satan.
I let my guard down and it doesn't take much, just a sprinkle, and I come out to test temptation, and I'm caught. Have you ever pulled a worm out of the ground and it rips in half? Satan is no different. He doesn't care if he only gets a little piece of me, just enough to use as bait to ruin my reputation and lure someone else into his clutches.
Does the rain of mockery, gossip or self righteousness drag me out of God's safe haven of respect, commitment and servitude? Do I allow the fisherman of deceit to not only skewer my character but use me to drag others away from Jesus?
I must be careful then. My character is one step, one look, one thought from the inviting rains of deception. Let us stay vigilant for the work of Christ.
~A thought from January 2012~
Sometimes I feel too carefree in this freedom Christ sacrificed for. His honor should not be trivialized because I twist His word to find permission to do what I know in my heart to be less than what He desires.
"Why use a raven to say nevermore?"
"What's the real deal with this throbbing heart?"
"Was Mr. Poe giving us a clue or skirting the real issue?"
"Was he scared, angry, depressed....?"
"Did he want us to listen closer or steer us away?"
I had so many questions. Often we have no clue what people are saying and relate our own experiences to develop some relevance.
I did a little experiment and took some of my writings to my dorm mates and asked them what I may have been thinking when I wrote what I wrote.
Since you are reading my blogs this may not come as a surprise but everyone, including my teacher, received a different slant to the thoughts behind my pen. Instead of delving into the whereabouts of a thought, it seems much easier for me to make a comfortable conclusion about the idea.
Isaac Watts wrote a song, At the Cross, in which he classified himself as a worm;
Alas! and did my Savior bleed
And did my Sovereign die?
Would He devote that sacred head
for such a worm as I?
This rendition was cast off and worm was substituted for "...sinners such as I?" Wouldn't Mr. Watts put sinners if he wanted sinners? Why change it? Maybe worm has some bad connotations....? Precisely! Why would Jesus die for me, a slimy, disgusting worm? I don't know, maybe "worm" is a cuss word in Greek or something. If it is, I apologize but try to come back to the English language with me and see if we can shake this out a bit. What might Isaac Watts have been thinking when he called himself a worm?
"....such a worm as I." What a line. It isn't a real pretty picture, but it is so indicative of who we are. We aren't too pleasing and often get ourselves in trouble when we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The problem with worms, when they get caught, is two fold. Not only are they skewered on a fishing hook and forced to die a slow death, they are also used as bait to lure something else to its demise.
This is not too unlike us now is it? Stay with me here, these examples are used as parallels not comparisons. We, as the worms, are surrounded by our safe haven of dirt or God's protection. We are lured out into the world by the falling rains of temptation. We are then snatched by the fishermen of deceit (sorry anglers) to not only be abused but used in the reeling in of captors to build the army of Satan.
I let my guard down and it doesn't take much, just a sprinkle, and I come out to test temptation, and I'm caught. Have you ever pulled a worm out of the ground and it rips in half? Satan is no different. He doesn't care if he only gets a little piece of me, just enough to use as bait to ruin my reputation and lure someone else into his clutches.
Does the rain of mockery, gossip or self righteousness drag me out of God's safe haven of respect, commitment and servitude? Do I allow the fisherman of deceit to not only skewer my character but use me to drag others away from Jesus?
I must be careful then. My character is one step, one look, one thought from the inviting rains of deception. Let us stay vigilant for the work of Christ.
~A thought from January 2012~
Sometimes I feel too carefree in this freedom Christ sacrificed for. His honor should not be trivialized because I twist His word to find permission to do what I know in my heart to be less than what He desires.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Invitation
Not long ago I was invited to a meeting. Important decisions were being made, advice was being asked for, input and influence were taking place. Ideas of great significance, which could greatly impact our lives were being discussed. Included in this meeting were lawyers, corporate people, builders, teachers, entrepreneurs and spiritual prayer warriors. Sound advice and great encouragement flew around the room like snow in a Minnesota blizzard. Other then some awkward participatory remarks, I had nothing to infuse into these conversations. Actually, I really didn't have much business being part of this gathering. Amazingly, all things considered, I was part of this, I was invited.
Not much unlike this meeting, though on a much grander scale, I was invited to join a family I also had no business being part of. My guilt and recklessness had left the Savior of the world abandoned on a cross being punished for my participatory sinfulness. Not only was He punished, He died. However, this Jesus came back to life to stomp on this limitation we call death and included me in a never ending life...if I should accept His invitation.
Do I deserve to be included and called a friend or even listened to by a group of such influential people? No. Do I deserve to fall on my face and even think of this thing called redemption? Absolutely not! But I was generously invited and I accepted. This acceptance included me in spite of myself.
Easter reminds us of this gift and of who so graciously gave it. However, you can't have the pleasure of this gift if you don't ask for forgiveness and accept the invitation. I was invited....I accepted....I am part of His family. This Savior of the world has invited you as well. Don't set Him aside. Come to the empty tomb and accept His incredible invitation.
Happy Easter!
Not much unlike this meeting, though on a much grander scale, I was invited to join a family I also had no business being part of. My guilt and recklessness had left the Savior of the world abandoned on a cross being punished for my participatory sinfulness. Not only was He punished, He died. However, this Jesus came back to life to stomp on this limitation we call death and included me in a never ending life...if I should accept His invitation.
Do I deserve to be included and called a friend or even listened to by a group of such influential people? No. Do I deserve to fall on my face and even think of this thing called redemption? Absolutely not! But I was generously invited and I accepted. This acceptance included me in spite of myself.
Easter reminds us of this gift and of who so graciously gave it. However, you can't have the pleasure of this gift if you don't ask for forgiveness and accept the invitation. I was invited....I accepted....I am part of His family. This Savior of the world has invited you as well. Don't set Him aside. Come to the empty tomb and accept His incredible invitation.
Happy Easter!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Alone
As I sit in stern laziness, the resiliency of wonderment drags me into thoughts musing the scepticism of man. The warm, home-made cardamom bread, laced with cinnamon sugar, is eased down with an ever so bold cup of coffee. Alone...guilt delivers a chill through this blanket of freedom. On these few days with no one to please, discipline or charm I joust away the feeling with the clicking of my pen.
"Yah, away you dastardly duties I forbid you to dispense of my freedom!" I scream.
"There are walls to paint and faucets to fix, my love." taunts Guilt Factor.
"No, I need time to think and focus." My mind blurs as I try to plan my escape of this...Mr. Factor.
"People will think naughty little thoughts of you when they notice you're not up to snuff with the Jone's!" He says in that irritating, put down tone.
I have never had an upside to worry about but my downside may be becoming a bit too noticeable, I ponder.
"Stop it! I won't fall for your snively little tricks." Again I find myself screaming.
"Oh, you lounge around now but soon responsibility will return and find how irresponsible you have been."
....One last jab scars my freedom.
God, build a wall about me. Deliver a blow to the master of soliloquy as I form unnecessary thoughts that I relegate important. You alone are my solace. Don't let me stumble over myself, lead me back to you.
Create in me a pure heart,
O God,
and renew a steadfast
spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your
presence
or take your Holy Spirit
from me.
Restore to me the joy of
Your salvation
and grant me a willing
spirit to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
"Yah, away you dastardly duties I forbid you to dispense of my freedom!" I scream.
"There are walls to paint and faucets to fix, my love." taunts Guilt Factor.
"No, I need time to think and focus." My mind blurs as I try to plan my escape of this...Mr. Factor.
"People will think naughty little thoughts of you when they notice you're not up to snuff with the Jone's!" He says in that irritating, put down tone.
I have never had an upside to worry about but my downside may be becoming a bit too noticeable, I ponder.
"Stop it! I won't fall for your snively little tricks." Again I find myself screaming.
"Oh, you lounge around now but soon responsibility will return and find how irresponsible you have been."
....One last jab scars my freedom.
God, build a wall about me. Deliver a blow to the master of soliloquy as I form unnecessary thoughts that I relegate important. You alone are my solace. Don't let me stumble over myself, lead me back to you.
Create in me a pure heart,
O God,
and renew a steadfast
spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your
presence
or take your Holy Spirit
from me.
Restore to me the joy of
Your salvation
and grant me a willing
spirit to sustain me.
Psalm 51:10-12
Monday, March 11, 2013
Consecration
Why do my thoughts of being holy often get in the way of being holy?
Several weeks ago, I found myself at a large gathering of people. There was a couple there that is very dear to our family. The wife hasn't been feeling well, as of late, which had lead me to prayer and concern. Realize now that my hearing seems to be getting worse, part old, part cold, so I couldn't hear very well in this noisy hallway. When I saw her we did the customary hug but I held on to her a bit and asked her some questions about how she was feeling. We chatted a few moments and then I moved on to other people. Some days later I looked back on this situation and hoped I had seemed like a concerned old friend instead of a creepy old man. Sometimes situations take on different meanings than were implied.
How often do we misinterpret the closeness of God?
Francis Redley Havergal wrote a book, "Kept for the Masters Use", in the late 1800's. Talking about consecration, she said this: "The heart that is not entrusted to Him for searching, will not be undertaken by Him for cleansing; the life that fears to come to the light lest any deed should be reproved, can never know His blessedness and the privileges of walking in the light."
I think she is saying that God is not a "pick and chooser", He's a "life changer". Is our consecration experience "nit picky"? Are there certain things we don't want God to change? Consecration is a Holy change of all, not a Holy choice of what. Do we misinterpret this life changing consecration event?
"God change this horrible weakness into a strength so I can be more effective for you."
"God don't touch this strength of mine, I will use it mightily."
Maybe God needs my weakness to change the world. Maybe my strength will get in the way of God's workings. Is God whispering in my ear and His closeness is a little too close for comfort? But I must stay close.
Frances Havergal goes on to explain the paradox of consecration: " Full consecration may be in one sense the act of the moment, and in another the work of a lifetime. It must be complete to be real, and yet, if real it is always incomplete; a part of rest, and yet a perpetual progression."
Don't let God's closeness misinterpret His concern. God's closeness may seem creepy at times but usually it's the only way we can hear His Holiness.
Take my heart, and let it be
Consecrated Lord, to Thee
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, All for Thee.
Frances R. Havergal (1874)
Several weeks ago, I found myself at a large gathering of people. There was a couple there that is very dear to our family. The wife hasn't been feeling well, as of late, which had lead me to prayer and concern. Realize now that my hearing seems to be getting worse, part old, part cold, so I couldn't hear very well in this noisy hallway. When I saw her we did the customary hug but I held on to her a bit and asked her some questions about how she was feeling. We chatted a few moments and then I moved on to other people. Some days later I looked back on this situation and hoped I had seemed like a concerned old friend instead of a creepy old man. Sometimes situations take on different meanings than were implied.
How often do we misinterpret the closeness of God?
Francis Redley Havergal wrote a book, "Kept for the Masters Use", in the late 1800's. Talking about consecration, she said this: "The heart that is not entrusted to Him for searching, will not be undertaken by Him for cleansing; the life that fears to come to the light lest any deed should be reproved, can never know His blessedness and the privileges of walking in the light."
I think she is saying that God is not a "pick and chooser", He's a "life changer". Is our consecration experience "nit picky"? Are there certain things we don't want God to change? Consecration is a Holy change of all, not a Holy choice of what. Do we misinterpret this life changing consecration event?
"God change this horrible weakness into a strength so I can be more effective for you."
"God don't touch this strength of mine, I will use it mightily."
Maybe God needs my weakness to change the world. Maybe my strength will get in the way of God's workings. Is God whispering in my ear and His closeness is a little too close for comfort? But I must stay close.
Frances Havergal goes on to explain the paradox of consecration: " Full consecration may be in one sense the act of the moment, and in another the work of a lifetime. It must be complete to be real, and yet, if real it is always incomplete; a part of rest, and yet a perpetual progression."
Don't let God's closeness misinterpret His concern. God's closeness may seem creepy at times but usually it's the only way we can hear His Holiness.
Take my heart, and let it be
Consecrated Lord, to Thee
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, All for Thee.
Frances R. Havergal (1874)
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The Day
Minds are incredible things. No two are the same, how they calculate, how they create, how they convolute. A great example of this is the difference between my wife and myself.
The mind of my wife is a steel trap logging times, dates and all kinds of information. This is an incredible blessing giving me a wealth of information to draw on. However, you understand, the great curse because of my shortcomings. Though they fade quickly in my minds eye they are all stored succinctly in this wonderful filing system. My mind, on the other hand, is a steel sieve. Information circles in the windy vortex till it escapes....somewhere. Dates, details and specifics don't register well with me. I'm an idea man.
You may shake your head and say, "poor soul", but I tell you, "worry not." This isn't as big of a dilemma to me as it is to those who deal with me on a consistent basis. What am I talking about you may think. A more specific example may help.
The steel trap; Feb. 14, 2013....Valentine's Day....chocolates...flowers...arrows....hearts.
The steel sieve; Karen what would I do without you...whenever. You are the woman I love...so much. You have stuck with me since....for so long. Can any day be more special than any other?
I love you always.
Happy.....Day
The mind of my wife is a steel trap logging times, dates and all kinds of information. This is an incredible blessing giving me a wealth of information to draw on. However, you understand, the great curse because of my shortcomings. Though they fade quickly in my minds eye they are all stored succinctly in this wonderful filing system. My mind, on the other hand, is a steel sieve. Information circles in the windy vortex till it escapes....somewhere. Dates, details and specifics don't register well with me. I'm an idea man.
You may shake your head and say, "poor soul", but I tell you, "worry not." This isn't as big of a dilemma to me as it is to those who deal with me on a consistent basis. What am I talking about you may think. A more specific example may help.
The steel trap; Feb. 14, 2013....Valentine's Day....chocolates...flowers...arrows....hearts.
The steel sieve; Karen what would I do without you...whenever. You are the woman I love...so much. You have stuck with me since....for so long. Can any day be more special than any other?
I love you always.
Happy.....Day
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Open Grave
How do I live my life? Am I taken captive by shenanigus behavior because my fancy has been tickled? Are there times when our team wins a championship and the happiness is so overwhelming we start cars on fire and trash our surroundings? What is that? Let's see...my favorite team just won I think I'll go light someones car on fire. Are we all nuts? Do we get in a big group and our minds explode?
"I wouldn't do that!"
"Not me..."
"Would I...?"
What about my job...Am I willing to use someones head as a step-stool to get to the next level? Do I point out someones idiosyncrasies to boost my groove factor? Maybe I "like" someone to make them think I'm all in to their ideas. How about, "I'll pray for you" and then not lift my eyes toward heaven?
Is all this much different then burning a car because I'm ecstatic? Could it be worse? At least when I get up the next morning and all the hubbub has burned down I may understand that I was an idiot and hopefully make restitution. But what happens if I wound a heart and turn them away from the Savior?
These types of willful acts seem to easily become part of my life that I justify, continue....and oh so righteously.
Psalms 5:4-6 says:
You are not a God who
takes pleasure in evil;
With you the wicked
cannot dwell.
The arrogant cannot stand
in Your presence;
You hate all who do
wrong.
You destroy those who tell
lies;
Bloodthirsty and deceitful
men
The Lord abhors.
Abhors, ooh, that's not good. I used to read these words and think that "our" world was going to the dogs. Is it much closer than that? Could it be "my" world? Am I paying attention?
Verse 9
Not a word from their
mouth can be trusted:
Their heart is filled with
destruction.
Their throat is an open
grave;
With their tongue they
speak deceit.
Sure, group behavior easily turns to raucous nonsense and corrals all it's followers into the "open grave". But what about me? Does my throat spew things that pull others away from this God I love tossing them into a longing tomb of confusion about my Savior? Grumbling, bickering, gossip and pride...I guess I have some work to do.
Now what? Well, like always, God opens His arms to me?
Psalms 5:11
But let all who take refuge
in you be glad;
Let them sing for joy.
Spread your protection
over them,
that those who love your
name may rejoice in
You.
For surely, O Lord you
bless the righteous;
You surround them with
your favor as with a
shield.
How is my shield? I must keep my faith strong. I must pursue God with my whole heart. If I do, He will help clear my throat and shut that open grave.
"I wouldn't do that!"
"Not me..."
"Would I...?"
What about my job...Am I willing to use someones head as a step-stool to get to the next level? Do I point out someones idiosyncrasies to boost my groove factor? Maybe I "like" someone to make them think I'm all in to their ideas. How about, "I'll pray for you" and then not lift my eyes toward heaven?
Is all this much different then burning a car because I'm ecstatic? Could it be worse? At least when I get up the next morning and all the hubbub has burned down I may understand that I was an idiot and hopefully make restitution. But what happens if I wound a heart and turn them away from the Savior?
These types of willful acts seem to easily become part of my life that I justify, continue....and oh so righteously.
Psalms 5:4-6 says:
You are not a God who
takes pleasure in evil;
With you the wicked
cannot dwell.
The arrogant cannot stand
in Your presence;
You hate all who do
wrong.
You destroy those who tell
lies;
Bloodthirsty and deceitful
men
The Lord abhors.
Abhors, ooh, that's not good. I used to read these words and think that "our" world was going to the dogs. Is it much closer than that? Could it be "my" world? Am I paying attention?
Verse 9
Not a word from their
mouth can be trusted:
Their heart is filled with
destruction.
Their throat is an open
grave;
With their tongue they
speak deceit.
Sure, group behavior easily turns to raucous nonsense and corrals all it's followers into the "open grave". But what about me? Does my throat spew things that pull others away from this God I love tossing them into a longing tomb of confusion about my Savior? Grumbling, bickering, gossip and pride...I guess I have some work to do.
Now what? Well, like always, God opens His arms to me?
Psalms 5:11
But let all who take refuge
in you be glad;
Let them sing for joy.
Spread your protection
over them,
that those who love your
name may rejoice in
You.
For surely, O Lord you
bless the righteous;
You surround them with
your favor as with a
shield.
How is my shield? I must keep my faith strong. I must pursue God with my whole heart. If I do, He will help clear my throat and shut that open grave.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Fiscal Cliff
Are you jumping? What is this cliff we're leaning over? Is it rhetoric? Is it new? Are we just going back to what was? To me this all seems more like a mountain than a cliff. Everyone seems to be so "carey" and "concerney". Are we sure we're not all dumb and thoughtless?
I don't profess to know or understand much. I can't understand all the financial wizardry that is continually redefined and re-finagled. So I par down governmental situations to a level I can't understand.
One example of this mountain I may look at, is the wayside rest area. "You're crazy" you may say "Who's still reading my blog?" I say. A family is traveling to Duluth and little Jimmy gets sick, grandma had too much coffee and sister Louise's gold fish exploded in the heat. Of course, in America, it's our right to have an area to rest in on the way. Hence, the wayside rest was born. A little wood shack to take care of the necessary pitfalls of life. Sure, none of us mind since towns are sparse and nature seems to bid us to it's calling. "Build away", we say, and build they do.....and never stop. What now?
Heading back to Minneapolis/St. Paul, we are two miles from all the places of commerce you could ever imagine. We pull into the biggest palatial resting "vendtropolis" area this side of Atlantis. I breath a sigh of disturbance. How many full time jobs, benefits and pensions are needed to maintain such luxury? How about the cost of land, maintenance, utilities, and new projects being dreamed up.....for what? Nothing is created or gained. This is all being paid for by taxes that aren't being generated because commerce is being refused. No one has a need to stop and do this commerce thing in a town two miles away because everyone is stopping at the irrational extravaganza. This is just one example.
It is.....it's a mountain. Why do we climb it....because it's there? The jump from the cliff may be less hazardes than the climb up the mountain.
Oh, I almost forgot.....
H
A
P
P
Y
N
E
W
Y
E
A
R
!
I don't profess to know or understand much. I can't understand all the financial wizardry that is continually redefined and re-finagled. So I par down governmental situations to a level I can't understand.
One example of this mountain I may look at, is the wayside rest area. "You're crazy" you may say "Who's still reading my blog?" I say. A family is traveling to Duluth and little Jimmy gets sick, grandma had too much coffee and sister Louise's gold fish exploded in the heat. Of course, in America, it's our right to have an area to rest in on the way. Hence, the wayside rest was born. A little wood shack to take care of the necessary pitfalls of life. Sure, none of us mind since towns are sparse and nature seems to bid us to it's calling. "Build away", we say, and build they do.....and never stop. What now?
Heading back to Minneapolis/St. Paul, we are two miles from all the places of commerce you could ever imagine. We pull into the biggest palatial resting "vendtropolis" area this side of Atlantis. I breath a sigh of disturbance. How many full time jobs, benefits and pensions are needed to maintain such luxury? How about the cost of land, maintenance, utilities, and new projects being dreamed up.....for what? Nothing is created or gained. This is all being paid for by taxes that aren't being generated because commerce is being refused. No one has a need to stop and do this commerce thing in a town two miles away because everyone is stopping at the irrational extravaganza. This is just one example.
It is.....it's a mountain. Why do we climb it....because it's there? The jump from the cliff may be less hazardes than the climb up the mountain.
Oh, I almost forgot.....
H
A
P
P
Y
N
E
W
Y
E
A
R
!
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