In a previous blog I believe I told you about some early college experiences I had in the Colorado Rockies. I was privileged to take part, with many wonderful people, in a life changing time. Many men and women of God filled my life with all types of backgrounds and ideas. I was young and developing a sense of who God was and how I fit in this thing called life. I was blessed with four professors who loved their God deeply but one man had an insight that seemed to click with me. He was very kind and had a non-judgmental concern with a deep desire that we would pull as much out of our Creator as possible. He was a no-nonsense biologist and taught with a sense of practicality I haven't really seen since. Maybe this appreciation was enhanced by the mercy he showed by not flunking a terrified freshman out of his biology class.
Years later at a reunion I was awarded a complement from this man of which I will never forget. I went to a Bible and engineering school and received a degree in recreation and camp administration....go figure. At the reunion most of us guys were helping this professor unload a bunch of wood into the lodge. He had backed his new truck up a small hill to shorten the carrying distance. When the wood was unloaded and the truck swept out the tailgate wouldn't close. The engineers were calculating the derivatives, angles, pressure points complete with leverage analysis. The spiritual leaders were calculating the amount of sin we had committed in our determination to close the tailgate. I was lost amongst the math and the stress. I said, "the truck looks catawampus maybe if we drive the truck onto level ground, the gate will close." What do you know! The tailgate closed with ease. I had nothing to offer but a drive down the hill. My professor said six words that encouraged me greatly, "I like the way you think" , then he went about his business....serving us.
He taught the intricacies of life to show us the awesomeness of our Creator. He knew it wasn't about him and his brilliance, it was about God and his majesty. "If you can't piece together ameba's, protozoa's and cell division, don't worry about it. Just be amazed that God has it all in control and you will be fine." Wow, I still had a chance!
A few horses had taken Dr. Compton to task and I still see him hobbling down to the water pump. I miss his wily wisdom. I wish I could sit down again and talk about the greatly complicated and wonderfully simple aspects of our incredible God. Dr. Compton was brilliant, compassionate, humble and loved his God dearly. I was able to study under this man. What an incredible gift I was given!
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Answered
Do I feel prayer is answered based on how life intersects with me? If I pray for a car and a car is received do I automatically think that's the answer? A month later the car breaks down. If the answer was the car, why would God allow it to break down? Is the car only a part of the answer? Maybe the car was to build trust for the next life occurrence, the breakdown. God brought me through the receiving of the car, why would he not carry me through the breakdown? Maybe the answer was not the car, maybe the answer was faith building. Its much easier to pray for a desire than for faith building. My character is too fragile to anticipate faith building, which is most always difficult, than to look forward to something which makes my life easier, a car.
Am I willing to change my prayer habits to include Christ's desires instead of my longings? Am I willing to do anything for the sake of God's glory? This doesn't mean I ought not pray for a car, but am I willing to walk if God so wills it? My pious self says, "Of course", but will I chortle in disgust if my way is not granted? Should I not be willing to do anything or give up everything for the cause of Christ?
If I could only meet God for coffee each time I had a need or question it would be so much easier. He could look at me and say,
"You want what? That's a little selfish don't you think?"
Or
"If you did it this way, things would work out much better."
But God decided we should live by faith. He wants us to realize that life will deal us crap but he will take the crap we are dealt and fertilize our life into something pleasing and good if we stick by Him.
Yet, my piece of pie falls in my lap, my boss irks me, my car breaks down and I get annoyed. Why the dilemma, the mockery, the scandal in my soul when, in reality, the pie,the job and the car are all blessings of which I should be thankful.
Is the implication of rebellion the course of a heart gone cold? Is this heart salvageable? Is it yet pliable enough to be kind and not spiteful, generous and not selfish...at rest in the arms of Jesus?
My God will supply all my needs.....do I believe it?
My God will always be there....do I feel it?
My God will not forsake me....do I know it?
Prayer predicates itself on a God who will answer or it is not prayer at all, it is a gambling percentage based on bad probability. God is there, he will answer. Though, I must expect only His answer, not my answer.
Am I willing to change my prayer habits to include Christ's desires instead of my longings? Am I willing to do anything for the sake of God's glory? This doesn't mean I ought not pray for a car, but am I willing to walk if God so wills it? My pious self says, "Of course", but will I chortle in disgust if my way is not granted? Should I not be willing to do anything or give up everything for the cause of Christ?
If I could only meet God for coffee each time I had a need or question it would be so much easier. He could look at me and say,
"You want what? That's a little selfish don't you think?"
Or
"If you did it this way, things would work out much better."
But God decided we should live by faith. He wants us to realize that life will deal us crap but he will take the crap we are dealt and fertilize our life into something pleasing and good if we stick by Him.
Yet, my piece of pie falls in my lap, my boss irks me, my car breaks down and I get annoyed. Why the dilemma, the mockery, the scandal in my soul when, in reality, the pie,the job and the car are all blessings of which I should be thankful.
Is the implication of rebellion the course of a heart gone cold? Is this heart salvageable? Is it yet pliable enough to be kind and not spiteful, generous and not selfish...at rest in the arms of Jesus?
My God will supply all my needs.....do I believe it?
My God will always be there....do I feel it?
My God will not forsake me....do I know it?
Prayer predicates itself on a God who will answer or it is not prayer at all, it is a gambling percentage based on bad probability. God is there, he will answer. Though, I must expect only His answer, not my answer.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Diagnosis
Not long ago I was in for my normal infusion of medication. After the two and one half hour procedure, the nurse drew some blood so they could check out all the levels of who knows what. On my way home from the doctors office I received a phone call. The person at the other end of the line asked me how I was feeling and if I was driving that I should pull over. I was already in the hardware store parking lot so I asked if there was some problem. The nurse told me that my blood work had some concerning results and I needed to get to a hospital immediately. I told her I felt quite fine but would stop in and see my doctor as soon as I got home. She was awfully upset and thought driving was not a good idea because some of the blood levels indicated the onset of a ...coma. Now I am a full blown Swede, which some may consider comatose, but it also won't allow me to "walk" into an ambulance. So off I drove for a half hour comatose car ride. Shortly, another phone call brought me back to reality. They realized the blood draw was taken from the same arm as the infusion so the medication had affected the blood diagnosis. All was normal...I could have gone to the hardware store after all.
How is my diagnosis? What indications do people get from my blood draw? Was I just infused with hate, anger, ridicule or despondence? Is my diagnosis so alarming people wished I was comatose?
In the book "Prodigal God", by Timothy Keller, he establishes some great insight on how our personal diagnosis can be affected by how we draw attitudes from our life. Just like my blood was expected to be normal it became a tainted test because of the foreign substance in my body, so do we become tainted by sinful attitudes. And even though we should be Christ-like we exhibit un-Christ-like features.
Mr. Keller delves into these tainted examples which came from the familiar biblical story of the prodigal son. Both the elder and younger son had their issues. He points out that the younger son didn't care about his father and in his selfishness spat on his fathers love and stole his money. The elder son also didn't care about his father and was "waiting" to spit on his fathers love and steal his money. (Spit and steal are my words not his.) Both had been infused with selfishness and greed. The elder son was diagnosed with piety, the younger son with rebellion.
The author discusses that often piety causes rebellion. He pastors a large church in Manhattan and many of his parishioners are there because they had left their place of worship long ago with scars of ridicule, criticism and un-acceptance from church and family. Mr. Keller and his church hope they can squelch these feelings by doing their best to practice the personality of Christ.
Timothy Keller expounds on these thoughts much better than I could:
"The choice before us seems to be to either turn from God and
pursue the desires of our hearts, like the younger brother or
repress desire and do our moral duty, like the older brother.
But the sacrificial, costly love of Jesus on the cross changes that.
When we see the beauty of what He has done for us, it attracts our
hearts to Him. We realize that the love, the greatness, the consolation,
and the honor we have been seeking in other things is here.
The beauty also eliminates our fear. If the Lord of the Universe loves
us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of?
To the degree we "see His beauty" we will be free from the fear and
neediness that creates either younger brothers or elder brothers"
The Prodigal God
page 99
All this has been written to set up my muse. Why do I cycle this elder and younger brothers dilemma? Why do I feel I must control my God by duty or rebellion? Is my faith strong so I hold circumstances of my faith as a pious bully pulpit? Or, do I hate people holding things over me so I escape to rebellion? Why is balance so difficult? If I learn to be a good elder brother why do I begin to accept human tendencies instead of Gods' intension? If I begin to heal my younger brother selfish thoughts why do I begin to be obligated to become like the elder brothers and think his piety is worse than my rebellion? Elder brother becomes younger brother becomes elder brother becomes younger brother....
In 2Peter 1:5-9 God may give us a link to abandon this cycle:
"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness;
and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; and to
self control, perseverance; and to perseverance , godliness; and to
godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure they will
keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge
of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted
and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from past sins."
Our brotherly cycles seem to begin when we try to be perfect in one or another of God's recommendations. Maybe they all matter...they all work together. My faith may be strong and my rights and wrongs may be established, but I need love and brotherly kindness to realize God is at a totally different focus in someone else's life. Or, maybe I love so much but my knowledge is too insufficient to make decisions which are pleasing to my God. Maybe I need to increase the measure of all these qualities in my life or I will continue to be ineffective and unproductive.
I have no right to be pious or rebellious! The blood of Jesus needs to flow more freely and less tainted throughout my life so my diagnosis is more helpful in the work of my Savior.
How is my diagnosis? What indications do people get from my blood draw? Was I just infused with hate, anger, ridicule or despondence? Is my diagnosis so alarming people wished I was comatose?
In the book "Prodigal God", by Timothy Keller, he establishes some great insight on how our personal diagnosis can be affected by how we draw attitudes from our life. Just like my blood was expected to be normal it became a tainted test because of the foreign substance in my body, so do we become tainted by sinful attitudes. And even though we should be Christ-like we exhibit un-Christ-like features.
Mr. Keller delves into these tainted examples which came from the familiar biblical story of the prodigal son. Both the elder and younger son had their issues. He points out that the younger son didn't care about his father and in his selfishness spat on his fathers love and stole his money. The elder son also didn't care about his father and was "waiting" to spit on his fathers love and steal his money. (Spit and steal are my words not his.) Both had been infused with selfishness and greed. The elder son was diagnosed with piety, the younger son with rebellion.
The author discusses that often piety causes rebellion. He pastors a large church in Manhattan and many of his parishioners are there because they had left their place of worship long ago with scars of ridicule, criticism and un-acceptance from church and family. Mr. Keller and his church hope they can squelch these feelings by doing their best to practice the personality of Christ.
Timothy Keller expounds on these thoughts much better than I could:
"The choice before us seems to be to either turn from God and
pursue the desires of our hearts, like the younger brother or
repress desire and do our moral duty, like the older brother.
But the sacrificial, costly love of Jesus on the cross changes that.
When we see the beauty of what He has done for us, it attracts our
hearts to Him. We realize that the love, the greatness, the consolation,
and the honor we have been seeking in other things is here.
The beauty also eliminates our fear. If the Lord of the Universe loves
us enough to experience this for us, what are we afraid of?
To the degree we "see His beauty" we will be free from the fear and
neediness that creates either younger brothers or elder brothers"
The Prodigal God
page 99
All this has been written to set up my muse. Why do I cycle this elder and younger brothers dilemma? Why do I feel I must control my God by duty or rebellion? Is my faith strong so I hold circumstances of my faith as a pious bully pulpit? Or, do I hate people holding things over me so I escape to rebellion? Why is balance so difficult? If I learn to be a good elder brother why do I begin to accept human tendencies instead of Gods' intension? If I begin to heal my younger brother selfish thoughts why do I begin to be obligated to become like the elder brothers and think his piety is worse than my rebellion? Elder brother becomes younger brother becomes elder brother becomes younger brother....
In 2Peter 1:5-9 God may give us a link to abandon this cycle:
"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness;
and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; and to
self control, perseverance; and to perseverance , godliness; and to
godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure they will
keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge
of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted
and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from past sins."
Our brotherly cycles seem to begin when we try to be perfect in one or another of God's recommendations. Maybe they all matter...they all work together. My faith may be strong and my rights and wrongs may be established, but I need love and brotherly kindness to realize God is at a totally different focus in someone else's life. Or, maybe I love so much but my knowledge is too insufficient to make decisions which are pleasing to my God. Maybe I need to increase the measure of all these qualities in my life or I will continue to be ineffective and unproductive.
I have no right to be pious or rebellious! The blood of Jesus needs to flow more freely and less tainted throughout my life so my diagnosis is more helpful in the work of my Savior.
Monday, January 6, 2014
The Fixer
I have a brother who is a fixer. He makes things from nothing to do better things than were done before. He designs, welds, wires, bolts and builds magnificent machines. When people misuse or overuse, he fly's all over the world and reinvents, recreates and resolves the situation.
I sometimes think I am a fixer. Really though, I think I'm a "smooth-overer". My brother welds and bolts...I put on a Band-Aid and a piece of tape. He rewires...I use an extension cord. He re-sheet rocks and plasters....I slap up an old door to cover the problem.
When we were young we had these motorized contraptions we called "go-carts" and "mini bikes". I would drive these little vehicles all over our farm and had quite a lot of fun, actually. They were never quite fast enough, efficient enough or perfect enough for my brother so most of the time they were in the garage being worked on. I don't know why he would always do that, they worked fine...or so I thought. But after each "brotherly" session the toys performed better.
I believe my brother has a piece of the personality of my God. My God is not a "band-aider" an "extension corder" or a"slap-overer". He is the ultimate fixer! I have so far to go but when I put my life in His hands He keeps shutting me down to rework and retool me so I can be more effective and efficient for His work. He puts me out there again and I get in the way and misfire and short out but He gently takes me, not to the woodshed, but to His work shop and revives my unwilling spirit and sends me out for another try.
I am glad my God is a fixer and not a recycler or I would have seen the crusher many years ago.
Am I ok with revisiting that little boy from long ago and be satisfied with chugging along in life? Or will I listen to my Savior, the ultimate fixer and enter His workshop and allow myself to be refurbished for the work of the Kingdom?
I sometimes think I am a fixer. Really though, I think I'm a "smooth-overer". My brother welds and bolts...I put on a Band-Aid and a piece of tape. He rewires...I use an extension cord. He re-sheet rocks and plasters....I slap up an old door to cover the problem.
When we were young we had these motorized contraptions we called "go-carts" and "mini bikes". I would drive these little vehicles all over our farm and had quite a lot of fun, actually. They were never quite fast enough, efficient enough or perfect enough for my brother so most of the time they were in the garage being worked on. I don't know why he would always do that, they worked fine...or so I thought. But after each "brotherly" session the toys performed better.
I believe my brother has a piece of the personality of my God. My God is not a "band-aider" an "extension corder" or a"slap-overer". He is the ultimate fixer! I have so far to go but when I put my life in His hands He keeps shutting me down to rework and retool me so I can be more effective and efficient for His work. He puts me out there again and I get in the way and misfire and short out but He gently takes me, not to the woodshed, but to His work shop and revives my unwilling spirit and sends me out for another try.
I am glad my God is a fixer and not a recycler or I would have seen the crusher many years ago.
Am I ok with revisiting that little boy from long ago and be satisfied with chugging along in life? Or will I listen to my Savior, the ultimate fixer and enter His workshop and allow myself to be refurbished for the work of the Kingdom?
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Words
Corporate leaders wandered through the store thanking, hand shaking and well wishing employees a happy holidays and a congratulations for a successful year. Among the chatter an introduction of a new employee was made and with the introduction came an explanation that this employee was in between jobs and was working here until full time employment was to be found. I cringed. Never would I begrudge someone from finding full time employment but I knew that soon we would be searching for yet another employee.
Days later I found out that someone else had taken that conversation much differently. This person had taken the conversation to mean that the new employee was much better than the rest of us and had lowered himself to work here till his feet landed that perfect job. He chose to believe there was an implication that we had chosen unworthy careers and were stuck here forever.
Often I have heard it, said it and even written about it, words mean things. We have to be careful! Tis very true, however, very often words don't mean things. We often make up meanings to build up something within our souls. We get upset, mad, bitter or create a cleverness about ourselves dragging in ideas that were not intended.
Why choose to read negative thoughts into harmless situations? Do I enjoy the bitterness, hatred and spite? Is it all really worth it? If I become this bitter old man, people will not want to hear my opinion. They will not want to desire in my desires or suffer in my suffering. And they surely will not want to know my God.
Many times I conjure up ideas about what people say and it affects my perspective of others and makes my flavor distasteful and my light go dim.
Matthew 5:13
"You are the salt of the earth; but if
the salt loses its flavor, how shall it
be seasoned/? It is then good for
nothing but to be thrown out and
trampled underfoot by men."
NKJV
Matthew 5:16
"Let your light so shine before men
that they my see your good works and
glorify your Father in Heaven."
NKJV
I pray that in this new year our flavor will be rich and our light will shine bright.
Happy New Year!
Days later I found out that someone else had taken that conversation much differently. This person had taken the conversation to mean that the new employee was much better than the rest of us and had lowered himself to work here till his feet landed that perfect job. He chose to believe there was an implication that we had chosen unworthy careers and were stuck here forever.
Often I have heard it, said it and even written about it, words mean things. We have to be careful! Tis very true, however, very often words don't mean things. We often make up meanings to build up something within our souls. We get upset, mad, bitter or create a cleverness about ourselves dragging in ideas that were not intended.
Why choose to read negative thoughts into harmless situations? Do I enjoy the bitterness, hatred and spite? Is it all really worth it? If I become this bitter old man, people will not want to hear my opinion. They will not want to desire in my desires or suffer in my suffering. And they surely will not want to know my God.
Many times I conjure up ideas about what people say and it affects my perspective of others and makes my flavor distasteful and my light go dim.
Matthew 5:13
"You are the salt of the earth; but if
the salt loses its flavor, how shall it
be seasoned/? It is then good for
nothing but to be thrown out and
trampled underfoot by men."
NKJV
Matthew 5:16
"Let your light so shine before men
that they my see your good works and
glorify your Father in Heaven."
NKJV
I pray that in this new year our flavor will be rich and our light will shine bright.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Christmas Child
CHRISTMAS CHILD
It has been many years now since my wife and I have taken in foster children. The kids were great but, at times, the advocacy was difficult. At one point we had a little boy who stayed with us much longer than anticipated. Karen worked tirelessly to protect and find a wonderful home for this little boy. The whole process took a few years enabling me to do something I maybe should have shielded myself from....we developed a special kind of a bond.
The image never goes away. As I would sit and read in the early morning my eyes would catch bouncing, curly hair traipsing down the stairs. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he would plop down next to me, wrap himself up in my arms and keep me company. Sometimes we didn't talk, but often we chatted about "stuff". It wasn't long now and he was gone, we had all finally settled on a good home, I didn't realize right away but this little boy had cut out a piece of my heart and taken it with him.
How much more must Christmas have felt to God? He wrapped up His Son, set Him in a cold manger and left Him in a warped, crazy world. God knew this baby would be mocked, ridiculed, beaten and killed. But He also knew there was no other way to defeat man's sinful hearts.
Oh how glad I am that God was willing to suffer the pain of separation so I could find this babe of Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Humility
High school....to some the rush of nostalgia flutters through the veins. Young crushes, athletic prowess, endless energy and built up stories of wonder. To others there is thankfulness the nightmare ended many years ago. To me, remembrances seem somewhat blurred...a true Scandinavian recollection, "ya, I guess it was ok."
I do remember wishing I had possessed a sense of "coolness" like some, popular, handsome, smart, athletic...traits I would have been willing to get used to. But as I look back there were only a select few of "those" people who had the one trait which made them incredibly appealing....cluelessness. There was no pulling back the shoulders, shoving out the chest, fluffing up the hair or looking down the nose. They had the wonderful traits of greatness but they didn't realize it. They would say hi to us floor watchers, help the teachers straighten up the desks and even pick up a tray someone left in the lunchroom. They would never point and laugh. They would smile and wave. Though I never felt worthy of a crush on a pretty and popular "cool" girl, her smile and hello enabled me to look up once in a while in search of a new friend. And that "all American boy", he included us minimally coordinated individuals without a second thought that a helping hand may infuse inferior germination.
Is humility somewhat like this pretty, gifted and kind girl who would dare not place herself on a pedestal higher than anyone else? Or the ruggedly, smart and handsome athletic boy who would include any and all into his band of friends, maybe he has some aspects of this coveted humility. It's not what they do that interests me however, it's how it all takes place. They are not conscience that they do such things, it doesn't cross their minds that they are who they are.
Humility, it seems to hang out on the precipice of life. If I feel I approach humility it's too easy to tip over and think myself humble thus ridding the trait. To be humble is all unknowing. The inkling of such a thought abolishes the presumption.
Humility is not the thought of putting others first or the action of doing for others, it's more than that. It's the complete lack of understanding that I may be humble, not caring if I'm humble and not even thinking to put others first.
Is it possible for me to be such? I think it's not something I "be"...maybe it's something I am, something I allow. It's impossible to "be" or create myself as such by want or desire. If I allow God's holiness to wash over and through me, than I realize this humility is not possible...thus making it more possible. God seems to have a way of ironing out the irony to keep me from messing up. If I would ever have the chance to approach humility, I would never know because I would be humble.
Humility also seems to have a set of standards or rightness that is understood. At times, in the past, I had thought humility was weak and could be pushed around or put aside, but Christ showed me different. He butted in line and went to the cross for me. He took the sword...the thorns....the grave. He despises my sin greatly, punishes me justly and loves me severely all in His humble effort to drag me back to what's good for me.
When I consider myself humble I am teetering on this cliff of disaster. May God wash me with the unconscious desire to follow Him in the fog of humility and the clarity of certainty that He is worthy and I am not.
I do remember wishing I had possessed a sense of "coolness" like some, popular, handsome, smart, athletic...traits I would have been willing to get used to. But as I look back there were only a select few of "those" people who had the one trait which made them incredibly appealing....cluelessness. There was no pulling back the shoulders, shoving out the chest, fluffing up the hair or looking down the nose. They had the wonderful traits of greatness but they didn't realize it. They would say hi to us floor watchers, help the teachers straighten up the desks and even pick up a tray someone left in the lunchroom. They would never point and laugh. They would smile and wave. Though I never felt worthy of a crush on a pretty and popular "cool" girl, her smile and hello enabled me to look up once in a while in search of a new friend. And that "all American boy", he included us minimally coordinated individuals without a second thought that a helping hand may infuse inferior germination.
Is humility somewhat like this pretty, gifted and kind girl who would dare not place herself on a pedestal higher than anyone else? Or the ruggedly, smart and handsome athletic boy who would include any and all into his band of friends, maybe he has some aspects of this coveted humility. It's not what they do that interests me however, it's how it all takes place. They are not conscience that they do such things, it doesn't cross their minds that they are who they are.
Humility, it seems to hang out on the precipice of life. If I feel I approach humility it's too easy to tip over and think myself humble thus ridding the trait. To be humble is all unknowing. The inkling of such a thought abolishes the presumption.
Humility is not the thought of putting others first or the action of doing for others, it's more than that. It's the complete lack of understanding that I may be humble, not caring if I'm humble and not even thinking to put others first.
Is it possible for me to be such? I think it's not something I "be"...maybe it's something I am, something I allow. It's impossible to "be" or create myself as such by want or desire. If I allow God's holiness to wash over and through me, than I realize this humility is not possible...thus making it more possible. God seems to have a way of ironing out the irony to keep me from messing up. If I would ever have the chance to approach humility, I would never know because I would be humble.
Humility also seems to have a set of standards or rightness that is understood. At times, in the past, I had thought humility was weak and could be pushed around or put aside, but Christ showed me different. He butted in line and went to the cross for me. He took the sword...the thorns....the grave. He despises my sin greatly, punishes me justly and loves me severely all in His humble effort to drag me back to what's good for me.
When I consider myself humble I am teetering on this cliff of disaster. May God wash me with the unconscious desire to follow Him in the fog of humility and the clarity of certainty that He is worthy and I am not.
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