Answered

Do I feel prayer is answered based on how life intersects with me?  If I pray for a car and a car is received do I automatically think that's the answer?  A month later the car breaks down.  If the answer was the car, why would God allow it to break down?  Is the car only a part of the answer?  Maybe the car was to build trust for the next life occurrence, the breakdown. God brought me through the receiving of the car, why would he not carry me through the breakdown?  Maybe the answer was not the car, maybe the answer was faith building.  Its much easier to pray for a desire than for faith building.  My character is too fragile to anticipate faith building, which is most always difficult, than to look forward to something which makes my life easier, a car.

 Am I willing to change my prayer habits to include Christ's desires instead of my longings? Am I willing to do anything for the sake of God's glory? This doesn't mean I ought not pray for a car, but am I willing to walk if God so wills it?  My pious self says, "Of course", but will I chortle in disgust if my way is not granted?  Should I not be willing to do anything or give up everything for the cause of Christ? 

If I could only meet God for coffee each time I had a need or question it would be so much easier.  He could look at me and say,

                           "You want what?  That's a little selfish don't you think?"
                    Or
                           "If you did it this way, things would work out much better."

But God decided we should live by faith.  He wants us to realize that life will deal us crap but he will take the crap we are dealt and fertilize our life into something pleasing and good if we stick by Him.

Yet, my piece of pie falls in my lap, my boss irks me, my car breaks down and I get annoyed.  Why the dilemma, the mockery, the scandal in my soul when, in reality, the pie,the job and the car are all blessings of which I should be thankful. 

Is the implication of rebellion the course of a heart gone cold?  Is this heart salvageable?  Is it yet pliable enough to be kind and not spiteful, generous and not selfish...at rest in the arms of Jesus?

                              My God will supply all my needs.....do I believe it?

                              My God will always be there....do I feel it?

                              My God will not forsake me....do I know it? 

Prayer predicates itself on a God who will answer or it is not prayer at all, it is a gambling percentage based on bad probability.  God is there, he will answer. Though, I must expect only His answer, not my answer.

Bait

When I was in college I took a literature course and found myself debating, all too often with my teacher, about the  thoughts of writers.  We would all sit around in class and discuss what was going through the minds of these authors.  My teacher always seemed to know where these thoughts came from and where they were going.

"Why use a raven to say nevermore?"

"What's the real deal with this throbbing heart?"

"Was Mr. Poe giving us a clue or skirting the real issue?"

"Was he scared, angry, depressed....?"

"Did he want us to listen closer or steer us away?"

I had so many questions.  Often we have no clue what people are saying and relate our own experiences to develop some relevance.

I did a little experiment and took some of my writings to my dorm mates and asked them what I may have been thinking when I wrote what I wrote.

Since you are reading my blogs this may not come as a surprise but everyone, including my teacher, received a different slant to the thoughts behind my pen.  Instead of delving into the whereabouts of a thought, it seems much easier for me to make a comfortable conclusion about the idea.

Isaac Watts wrote a song, At the Cross, in which he classified himself as a worm;

                                       Alas! and did my Savior bleed
                                       And did my Sovereign die?
                                      Would He devote that sacred head
                                       for such a worm as I?

This rendition was cast off and worm was substituted for "...sinners such as I?"  Wouldn't Mr. Watts put sinners if he wanted sinners?  Why change it?  Maybe worm has some bad connotations....?  Precisely!  Why would Jesus die for me, a slimy, disgusting worm? I don't know, maybe "worm" is a cuss word in Greek or something.  If it is, I apologize but try to come back to the English language with me and see if we can shake this out a bit.  What might Isaac Watts have been thinking when he called himself a worm? 

"....such a worm as I."  What a line.  It isn't a real pretty picture, but it is so indicative of who we are.  We aren't too pleasing and often get ourselves in trouble when we find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

The problem with worms, when they get caught, is two fold.  Not only are they skewered on a fishing hook and forced to die a slow death, they are also used as bait to lure something else to its demise.

This is not too unlike us now is it?  Stay with me here, these examples are used as parallels not comparisons.  We, as the worms, are surrounded by our safe haven of dirt or God's protection.  We are lured out into the world by the falling rains of temptation.  We are then snatched by the fishermen of deceit (sorry anglers) to not only be abused but used in the reeling in of captors to build the army of Satan.

I let my guard down and it doesn't take much, just a sprinkle, and I come out to test temptation, and I'm caught.  Have you ever pulled a worm out of the ground and it rips in half?  Satan is no different.  He doesn't care if he only gets a little piece of me, just enough to use as bait to ruin my reputation and lure someone else into his clutches.

Does the rain of mockery, gossip or self righteousness drag me out of God's safe haven of respect, commitment and servitude?  Do I allow the fisherman of deceit to not only skewer my character but use me to drag others away from Jesus? 

I must be careful then.  My character is one step, one look, one thought from the inviting rains of deception.  Let us stay vigilant for the work of Christ.


                                     ~A thought from January 2012~

Sometimes I feel too carefree in this freedom Christ sacrificed for.  His honor should not be trivialized because I twist His word to find permission to do what I know in my heart to be less than what He desires.