Miracles
Some time ago I wrote a letter to a friend of mine, let me recount some of it to you.
My friend 's daughter had written an entry on "caring bridge" about her sick mother. Bravely, she approached the difficulty of praying for a miracle and yet showed us her fortitude to hold firmly onto her Savior for clarity no matter the outcome.
This exact struggle has plagued me for most of my life. When I was a boy my father lay dying, would my God answer my prayers and heal him? As a young father would I only be able to helplessly stand by while my son struggled to survive? When I got sick was my God powerful enough to reinstate my dreams and overpower my failures? Could I handle praying for a miracle and see nothing? If I prayed for a miracle and he didn't provide would He be less of a God? Because, you see, the worse option for me, by far, was not the "no miracle", it was the "less God."
It hasn't really been that long now since my perspective has changed. "No miracle", no longer has the possibility of "less God." Somewhere I came up with thinking miracles were mine. Miracles are not mine they belong to God. I am the recipient of His power. God is not more sometimes and less other times He is "all" all of the time. He never stops working on my behalf...His miracles are continuous!
The reality, I feel, is that my involvement changes my perspective of each situation. God has allowed me to love deeply so my heart will burn for my desires, my answers and for results. I think He created me like this because He desires me to desire Him. However, because of these deep desires they often shadow God's workings. So, within moments what I had desired and prayed for has changed into something completely different. I am sure God is pleased with my desires and prayers but knows even I would not truly want Him to bring to life my confusion.
God can create situations to grow me. But I also believe God can use life as it happens and even Satan's conniving to help me grow. God has this incredible ability, that I can hardly understand, to work things out and make it good.
So, though I have no idea what God has in store I am commanded to pray and ask, not only for His will, but for my God centered desires. God created us, I have no doubt He can fix us. I will not be ashamed to pray for just that...just like the daughter of my friend so bravely conveyed to us. She put it simply yet concise. She didn't talk herself out of it, her focus was sure:
"It's hard but I will continue to pray for miracles."
