...pleading before my God to help with my inadequacies...to provide for my needs...to fulfill my desires...to bring before my God the concerns of my friends, my country, my enemies and even those I do not know...to strengthen a faltering faith...that the needy will be blessed...the blessed will be thankful... the thankful will be concerned...that we all will understand that God is who He says He is...
How is your faith?
How is your prayer?
As most newly married couples we were of meager means. But, as I recall, we enjoyed our drafty little home close to the Gunflint Trail in northern Minnesota. We loved Grand Marais! I enjoyed my job. We belonged to a nice little church and Karen was pregnant with our first child.
Our son, Brandon, was born with the "CHARGE" syndrome. This syndrome affected areas associated with the mid-line of the body. Though you would never know it now, growth was inhibited quite a bit in his earlier years. Even normal things, like lifting his head, had to be taught. I guess we didn't know this was terribly unusual since we hadn't had children before. However, I do remember thinking to myself that this was a lot of work. Why did people keep having children?
My wife was a trooper. She could do it all. I could clean up projectile distress from both ends but mealtime was out of my league. No, its not what you think, although, that would have been difficult as well. Brandon had to be fed with a gavage tube. Karen would slide a tube down Brandon's throat, into his stomach and pour life giving formula into his system. I just couldn't do it. To this very day, I can hardly hold back the tears, remembering the painful look in Brandon's eyes as Karen maneuvered the feeding tube down his little throat...than the satisfying contentment as the food dissolved his hunger.
I had accepted Jesus as my Savior and loved Him dearly for over ten years at that point in my life. What was happening? I felt He had left me alone. I laid on my son's bedroom floor crying for my God to come back. I was about to start a long journey of knowing God's presence through answered prayer.
Faith enables us to believe in God. Answered prayer brings validity to that faith. Sometimes I feel that we, in our blessed lives, have faith but our validation process is weak because we are able to answer most of our own prayers. I need a car...someone will give me a loan. I need clothes or food...charge it. Desperation is minimal. Brokenness allows God to shore up our faith.
Karen was exhausted. Brandon took a lot of care and she had no escape. No one would or could watch our son for fear something might happen. One day, as she was rocking Brandon, she cried out to God to send fifty dollars so we could go out to eat and buy some food. On my trek home that night, I stopped to pick up the mail. You have already guessed it. I couldn't believe my eyes, my brother had sent fifty dollars. He wrote that he had felt he needed to send some money. I was ecstatic! Now realize this, I knew nothing of Karen's prayer. I thought I was going to be a bearer of grand tidings. I walked into the house and said, "you will never guess what just happened!" Karen looked at me and said, "God sent fifty dollars in the mail." This was no surprise for my wife but God was beginning to rejuvenate my faith. God had never left me. I was looking for him in the wrong room.
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