Graveside

Yesterday I sat, watched and listened…eloquent speeches, beautiful music and heartfelt tears… all a tribute to someone so accurately portrayed as a mom to all.  What a woman!  She was accomplished, polished, classy, down-to-earth, diligent, loving, tough and elegant.  But in all the ability and perfection that was seen is it possible it was accentuated because of what was not seen?

Let me explain.  Often when I was a boy and most always when mom lived with us, I would be up early and find mom praying or reading the Bible.  As I would bring her coffee we would chat, never enough of course, and I would find she wasn’t reading and praying for fun and pleasure but for comfort and guidance.  Mom was a worrier but often that wasn’t her fault.  Usually the worry was caused by her out-of-hand sons or hard to control husband.  A quick example: “Boys, if that motor for the mini bike comes today, do not put it together” she said knowing somehow clouds were forming over the horizon.  Mom drives away, the delivery truck drives in.   A few hours later mom comes back to find a mini bike tipped over and me on the ground with my head covered in blood.  Worry, and why not?

She couldn’t protect us, she couldn’t make decisions for us, and she couldn’t change the hearts or direct the paths of all who called her mom.  So she wept for wisdom, she prayed for protection and she read for guidance because she felt inadequate for the journey.  And because of her wonderful dependence on her loving Savior, we all experienced an incredible outpouring of greatness.  So you see, she was not only great because she was great, she was greater because she was blessed.

A book I had read once had an incredible description of death.  Unfortunately, I can’t remember the author or book to give proper recognition.  As I read this description I thought I understood what he said.  I may have, but it seems as if now I understand better not what he said but what he meant.  Something happened a few days before mom died to make the meaning clearer.   She had called out for her husband, her son and Nathan, her grandson.  This author presented the idea that as we pass from this life to the next there often is a sight and a struggle. The picture presented was crossing a river to Glory.  As one who knows Christ, we see those who are waiting for us…not only family and friends but Jesus, whose blood enabled our passage from death into life.  This sight gives us the desire, courage and endurance to cross that last struggle and swim into the presence of our Savior.  She’s there, she made it and the last struggle is over.  She’s in the arms of Jesus.

Mom

There she was…pretty lady, remarkable musician, time for no ordinary man.  Was it the stately engineer, wide eyed inventor, or the man in uniform that caused the second glance?  Whatever it was, the Benson household was established.  Five boys came along to cause much anxiety and hopefully many smiles.

Are your family memories burdensome?  I sure hope not, but if they are please share mine because mom created enough great memories to go around. 

Mom’s life was to be anything but ordinary.  Thank goodness God lets us experience life as it comes otherwise many of us wouldn’t be up for the journey. 

I was not spoiled in life only in blessings.  Although my parents were not perfect, they loved their God immensely and spread that love around as best as they knew how. 

My mom was a woman who never told or even thought of her capabilities.  Don’t misunderstand me, you had to pay attention.  Choir director, musician, community organizer, teacher, mother, wife, friend, chauffer, cheerleader….she never really stopped.  But back to her journey…did she think she would ever coerce juvenile delinquents into new ways of life?  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking and no, I am not talking about us brothers.  Dad had this great idea that since he was too old to hold down a job he would drag mom off to Indiana to straighten out the paths of a bunch of young whippersnappers.  Did she think she would influence a whole community into appreciating different kinds of music?  Did she ever fathom God would give and take her sons in such a short span of time?  Did she ever dream she would run down escaped horses in her Sunday best, or help a veterinarian winch a calf out of its mother? 

The thing about mom was no matter the obstacle she accomplished the task with a sort of flair.  I look back and wonder if mom was ever cut out to be a farm girl.  Probably not, but since she was there she might as well do it with a bit of class.  When her boys were down by the river and she needed us home for supper did she use the annoying car horn or the ordinary cow bell?  Oh for shame, of course not, she developed the farmstead yodel never leaving any confusion to whose supper was waiting.  Did she wear drab old overalls?  Pfft, really? Not my mom, pastel dresses and white socks were farm fare. 

Now I know this all makes her sound kind of perfect, but she also had her flaws.  She served us lima beans and lutefisk…eh she’s Swedish, what can you do.

There were many things mom loved, I’ll share just three:

·       She loved to be read to.  Mom stayed with our family for a while before she moved into Elim Home.  At that time I was writing a blog and she always wanted me to read it to her.  I often open my blog with questions to get the reader thinking.  In January 2013, our nation was facing the fiscal cliff, so I addressed the issue.  I began reading:  “Are you ready to jump?” “No!” mom answered rather loudly. “Mom, you just ruined the whole premise of my blog. These are questions to think about; you don’t have to answer them.” I responded trying to calm my racing heart from her boisterous reply.  She couldn’t help it she had to answer the questions.  So off we went, I would ask, she would answer, I would reprimand and she would giggle uncontrollably.  Like most people, I’m not so sure she ever understood what I was writing about.  But her interest in what I had done was much more gratifying than her understanding of what I had written. 

·       She loved people.  When I was a kid, mom and dad would invite most anyone over to our house.  More than once I would come into the dining room at meal time and find myself saying, “Who are they?” The more the merrier, the fuller the table; that was my mom.  I’m sure it will be no different in heaven….she will want that banquet table full. 

·       She loved Jesus.  The most desired thing in her life was that you had Jesus in your heart.  And can you blame her?  For eternity she will sit, chat and laugh as she enjoys her family, friends, and her Savior with a cup of coffee and a handful of M&M’s.  If you haven’t decided to follow Jesus yet she would be ecstatic to know you made that decision today.  

Ya know, mom hung around a long time.  Maybe we guys were more delinquent than we thought.  Maybe she hung around as long as she did hoping we would get our acts together.  Whatever the case, I’m so glad she did.  Mom, I’ll miss your uncontrollable laugh, your love and your prayers.  I’ll miss you for now but I’ll see you soon.